HOW TO HANDLE JUDGMENT FROM OTHER PARENTS AND FAMILY MEMBERS

As mothers, most of us could do with less judgment and more support.

Why, then, do so many of us judge each other?

Christmas is a special time time for family and friends to gather together to celebrate 🎉 

It’s also a time when kids get to see their extended family members 😊

Growing up, I remembered traveling to the village for Christmas. 🎄

We get to celebrate Christmas with our grandparents and other family members which was fun for us then 😊

It’s also the time when most parents feel judged because of their children’s behavior.  

But thinking about it now as a parent, it’s always that time of year  that you pray that your children will  behave well 😄

Because you may be criticized by your family members if they don’t! 

I remembered when my son was little and he would act out in front of a family member and they would raise eyebrows and they would say things like; are you going to let him get away with that? 

And I felt judged by their reactions and I would punish my son because I don’t want them to think I can’t control my own child. 🙁

But as I got older in my parenting, I grew a thick skin and those negative comments do not bother me anymore, because I know my child and they don’t. 

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Why I’m I telling this?

Here is why👇

During this festive period most of us will visit our family members or invite friends and family over to your house for the holiday celebration 🎉 

Though it’s a time to rejoice and spend time with family, it’s also a tense time for most parents with young children.

So today I would like to give you some tips on how to handle judgment from your friends and family members 

Let’s face it, your children will misbehave and eyes will be on you, some bold family members may call you out on their behavior.

I know I have faced such judgment over and over again 😄

But it doesn’t affect me anymore, because they don’t really know my son like I do. So their opinion of him doesn’t really matter 😄

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‼️Here are some tips to help you if you face such judgment 👇👇👇 

1️⃣Come up with an answer or just ignore their comments:  

This may work for or against you, but when you’re at the very end of your patience or limit of dealing with people .. try to say something that isn’t too rude but also points out to the other person that you are very much aware of their behavior. 

But when it comes to your relatives, you don’t want to ignore them o 😄

2️⃣Remove yourself and your child from the situation. If it really becomes too much to handle, remove yourself from the situation. Yes, this might not always be possible and yes- it might not always be reasonable. But if it keeps you from getting mad? It just might be the best solution.

Don’t compare your children’s behavior to how other children are behaving. 

In addition, I would like to advise you to never feel like you need to punish your child because of judgment from other people? 

If your child is having a meltdown in public, you may be a bit overwhelmed. It happens.

Remind yourself that it’s not the end of the world (though it may seem like it) and maybe try one of these calming strategies if you can.

❇️ Just stop and take a deep breath and keep calm

❇️ Allow them to cry it out, it’s ok and just stay silent  with them but don’t give in. It will only take a few minutes 

❇️ After the tantrums and you can see they are calmer, , then let them know that crying will not get them what they want.

❇️ Offer to hug them if they want it

My final thought 

As parents we are all just doing our best. No one is perfect. We are going to make mistakes, we are going to make different choices, but in the end, we all love our children and want the best for them.

We need to remember that sometimes when people judge us about our parenting styles, it’s more about what’s going on in their life. So don’t take it personally. 

It’s your child to punish if you choose to or not, don’t let their judgment bother you.

Also, don’t feel the need to do anything because they’re expecting you to. 

Let go of other people’s judgements, it doesn’t matter. At the end of the day they don’t really know your child like you do. 

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Please dear parents, when you see a mother struggling with their kids, lend a hand or ask how you can help her. 

And please if you don’t have any good thing to say please don’t say anything. 

Let’s all try to support each other, we’ve all been a new mom once 😊

What do you think?

How do you feel about people judging mothers?👇👇

Compliment of the season 🥰❤️❤️

#saynotojudgement

#beintentional

#parentingtips

#mumssupportingmums

#positiveparentingwitholu