Positive Parenting With Olu

HOW TO GIVE YOUR BABY THE BEST START IN LIFE

If you have been following me, you will know that Our theme for the month of June is on Newborn 👶.

So today I will be talking about.

 HOW TO GET THE FIRST THREE YEARS OF YOUR BABY’S LIFE RIGHT.

I think making sure you get the first 3 years of your baby’s life right will make your parenting journey a bit easier since 

studies show that 85% of the brain cells are formed by age three.

I’m not saying easy as in everyday life will be easy because we know it’s not that simple, for one, children will always be children, and life happens.

What I’m trying to say is that getting to know your child, and him knowing you in the first three years of their life will create a wonderful bond that will last for the rest of their lives. 

I know you may be wondering how to do this. 

The simplest answer to this is to be Present!

I will elaborate more as we go on.

But I’ll start by telling you about two different types of parenting. Of course, there are more than two types but I will only talk about 2 today.

I will call them 👇👇

THE DOER AND THE TALKERS.

No one teaches us how to be a parent, really!

I’m sure if you’re like me, you may have read dozens of parenting books, listened to hundreds of parenting podcasts and so on.

But yet, you are still not sure how to parent your child, and you’re still struggling. 

I’m not here to tell you that parenting is easy, or I have the solution. Not at all! 

Remember this – THERE IS NO PERFECT PARENT ANYWHERE.

But the difference between just your average parent (the Talkers) and an intentional parent (The Doers) are; 

READ THE FOLLOWING TWO DESCRIPTIONS AND DECIDE WHICH ONE YOU THINK  IS CLOSEST TO YOU 👇👇👇

🎯 The Doers: 

Learn, relearn, act on what they learn about parenting 

They are willing to learn and use what they learn in their day-to-day parenting. 

They love their children unconditionally. (No matter what) 

They are present in their child’s life.  

They respect their kid’s needs by giving them control and choices appropriate to their age and stage of development 

They respond to their kids most times. 

They are conscious of how they treat and talk to their kids.

When they make a mistake, they apologise to their kids. 

They try to set clear rules and expect them to be met 

They accept that they do not know everything, and that they are not too big to learn from their kids. 

They only use positive methods and praise to encourage behaving well, showing disapproval but never using harsh punishment. 

They connect before they correct

When they get it wrong, they try again the next day. 

They are willing to put the effort in, 

They are active parents, in their children’s life, both in school and their kid’s personal life.

🎯The Talkers: 

May sometimes read parenting books and even listen to some parenting advice and even talk to friends about it, but they won’t act on what they have read.

They have lots of strict rules. 

They use physical punishment to control their kids.

They still believe kids are to be seen not to be heard. 

They withhold their love when their kids misbehave 

They react most of the time to what their children do. 

They think they know everything. 

They don’t have the time to spend with their kids. 

They punish harshly and smack often.

👉So which type of parent are you? 

The truth is that you’re probably a bit of each type of parent depending on the circumstances. 

You may recognise any ideal sort of parenting – keeping both children and parents happy and having the best chance of children behaving well – is the first type on the list. 

The first example is called POSITIVE PARENTING, but it can be hard to keep it up all the time

Of course no parent is perfect, but the focused effort to meet your children’s needs will have a long lasting effect.

Here are some quick tips on how to get the first 3 years of your baby right 

✅BE PRESENT

Be there, it doesn’t matter if they can’t talk yet. Just sit or lie besides them when they are playing 

✅Play with your baby 

Start thinking about how you respond to your baby and be aware of their needs.

✅BRAIN DEVELOPMENT 

Read about brain development, there are so many books written about this. 

 (I explained this topic more  in depth in my new parenting book that is coming out soon) 

MY ADVICE TO NEW MOMS 👇👇

Your baby will cry a lot during their first 3 months or so, please pick them up, don’t let them cry it off. It’s not their fault. They have colic, most times it may be their digestive system that is worrying them. Don’t deny your child that touch and your comfort at those early years of their life. 

RESPOND TO YOUR CHILD’S Need AND BE AWARE OF THOSE NEEDS.  It is all about your child 

THE BASIC LESSONS ARE; 

🎯Give them the gift of happiness

🎯Be present, even if you can’t verbally communicate that’s not even important just be there. 

IF DONT REMEMBER ANYTHING FROM EVERYTHING I HAVE SAID SO FAR

Remember this👇👇

JUST BE PRESENT IN YOUR CHILD’S LIFE!

Especially in their formative years 0-3 years.

If you get the first 3 years right you can relax, because the first 3 years are crucial 

Thanks 

Olu ♥️

#freeparentingtipstuesday

#positiveparentingwitholu

#newborns

#newparents

#babylove

#beanintentionalparent

#bepresent

Before I became a teacher, I used to volunteer in my son’s school as a parent reader. 

A parent readers are parents that volunteer at schools. 

Their job is to read a book to school age children that are reluctant readers.

After some few weeks of reading with these kids,  I began to see changes in the kids I read with.

It is always a fantastic feeling when you see a kid improve and not only for you – it also gives the child a confidence boost. 

Why I’m I telling you this 🤔

Whenever a parent tells me that their child does not like reading 📖 

I asked them the following questions 👇👇

1. Have you tried asking your child what types of books he likes to read
2. Do you allow him to pick a book of his choice? 
3. And do you read to your child or listen to them read? 

The answers I get from parents are ‘No’.  

As parents, we think our children can’t do things, we seems to forget one  important thing👇👇

 👉When a parent supports their child with their learning they do better! (It’s as simple as that!) 

There is no dumb child, they just need extra help 

🎯HERE ARE SOME PRACTICAL TIPS TO ENCOURAGE YOUR KIDS 

• ✅ Be a good example, remember kids copy us. When they see you read they will too. 

• ✅Get them a Library card. Take them to the library to borrow books to read 

• ✅Let them choose the book they wanted (because when you allow them to choose a book of their choice they won’t be bored reading it) 

• ✅Don’t just ask them to go and get a book and  read. Be involved and pay attention to what your children are doing. 

• ✅Sit next to your child and listen to them read or read to them (10 minutes is ok) . I’m sure you can spare just 10 minutes a day with your precious little one. Trust me this will help them and you guys will bond as well

• ✅The best way to boost your child’s vocabulary is by reading. Setting a time just 20 minutes per day to listen to your child read can do wonders for their vocabulary. 

• ✅Lastly, don’t put too much pressure on them. When they said they are tired let them rest (you know your kids better than anyone) 

Finally, remember that comparison is a thief of joy.

By comparing yourself or your child to others, you”ll end up far more stressed and worried, which will only make matters worse. Instead focus on your child and do what you believe to be best for them. 

Remember this parents 👇👇👇

🎯READING WITH YOUR CHILD AND BEING POSITIVE ABOUT READING IS VITAL 

I hope the advice above has been helpful and if you have any questions leave a comment below and I will do my best to help. 

#reading 

#books 

#parentingtips

#momslife

#kidsareawesome

#readersaretomorrowsleaders 

#beintentonal

#tutors

#freeparentingtips

#schools

Every Tuesday I share some parenting tips with you guys on this Platform and via my podcast.

Our Theme this month of June is Newborn 

So today I will be talking about Breastfeeding, and what new mums experience in the first few weeks of giving birth and more …

So if you’re a new mum this is for you 👇👇👇

Eight Myths About Breastfeeding 👇👇

1️⃣Breastfeeding should come naturally

2️⃣Nipple shape matters. 

3️⃣Small breasts won’t make enough milk

4️⃣If breastfeeding starts out difficult, it will just get worse

5️⃣Nipple pain is normal

6️⃣Babies should only nurse from one breast at each feeding. ..

8️⃣ Only breast fed babies are strong and healthy

BREASTFEEDING YOUR BABY

Breastfeeding can be hard, especially if your baby refuses to accept it. 

What can you do? You may keep trying or speak to your midwife. 

So think about this question before you start: Are you going to breastfeed or use formula in the first six month? 

Let me start by saying this though, whichever way you choose to feed your baby is up to you. 

You read that breastfeeding isn’t supposed to hurt, but at the beginning, it does, even if you’re doing it right. 

If you’re having trouble with milk production or can’t get your baby to fall asleep, don’t beat yourself up (It happens) 

Talking from experience, some babies will accept breasts and some won’t.

No one knows your journey, so no one should be passing judgment. If breastfeeding isn’t the best option for your family, that’s totally okay. You can still be a wonderful parent and have a happy, healthy baby if you choose to formula feed. 

And if you do decide to breastfeed, that’s great too and a wonderful way to bond with the baby, but go easy on yourself. 

It’s often a bumpy start and for some moms it can take real work.

 In the end, just do what you feel is best—and don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it.

SLEEPING 

You hear about new parents being exhausted, but in the first few days you can run well on adrenaline. Then, slowly, the lack of sleep starts to not only catch up with you but overtake you and rule your life. 

In the early week most babies doze on your chest after feeding. 

Most new mums would prefer to put their baby in a cot. They don’t want the baby in their bed, but it usually doesn’t work like that — at least for those first nights.

So do what works for you and your baby 👶 

Please remember this 👉 Everything is a phase 

You may have a good week with your baby this week and the following week you’re struggling because they just won’t stop crying, guess what it’s ok because it will change too. So don’t worry 😉 🤗♥️♥️🥰

POSTPARTUM 

The postpartum period is commonly defined as the six weeks after childbirth. This is a very important time for both you and your newborn baby as you are trying to know each other. In the first few hours and days after childbirth, you will experience many changes, both physically and emotionally.

 Over the next six weeks or so, your reproductive tract will slowly return to the way it was before you became pregnant.

 If you had a caesarean section, your recovery will be different from that of a vaginal delivery. 

HERE ARE SOME OF THE THINGS YOU MAY EXPERIENCE AFTER GIVING BIRTH TO YOUR BABY 

1. You will have weak pelvic after giving birth 
2. Every time you breastfeed your baby, you will feel some pain 
3. Bleeding a lot – for the first few days, it’s heavy bright red and may contain blood clots. It will get lighter in color later, so don’t worry 😉 
4. Your breast will get bigger and painful
5. Your belly may still look like you’re pregnant 
6. Hair loss(but your hair will grow back)
7. Going to the toilet after you have a baby can be painful as well. 

BABY CLOTHING 

Don’t invest in newborn clothes. They’ll be in a nappy and a sleeping suit most of the time, and will outgrow everything in a week.

Maybe buy a few : blankets, hats, diapers. 

New born don’t need too much clothing. 

2 FIRST AID KIT

Get some first aid kit because sometimes you never know, and just in case you need it. 

You may need to check your baby’s temperature at night so you need a thermometer. 

My final thoughts

Having a baby is a blessing and a joyful thing, so enjoy this moment with your little one. They don’t stay babies for long 😀

Also, if you’re a new mom, please remember all children are different, I should know I have four children, and every birth is different, some can be easy and some might be a bit challenging. 

But let’s try to be intentional and deliberate with our parenting daily. 

Research shows that we develop 85% of our brain cells before age 3. So giving your baby a great start is crucial. 

 Raising a child is like building a house 🏠 you need to have a plan and stick to it, things may not happen exactly the way you want it to be, but it’s ok. We just need to keep trying our best everyday.

Congratulations again to our new mums and dads 🙌🙌🥰🤗♥️♥️♥️

Thanks 

Olu ♥️

#positiveparentingwitholu

#beintentional 

#newborn

#breastfeeding

#postpartum

#newmoms

#newdads

#momslife

#babyclothing

#bottlefed

I will start by congratulating all the new mums and dads.

 It’s a joyful thing to have a baby 👶 

Becoming a mom for the first time is one of those rare, blessed events that will forever change you—but just because it is bound to be one of the greatest moments in your life doesn’t mean it is going to be the easiest. 

I remember coming home with my daughter and her newborn, my granddaughter, from the hospital for the first time. Although I wasn’t the new mom, it felt like I was 😃😃 

The first six weeks with a newborn are a series of ups and downs for any parent — major ups and major downs! It’s intense, and then it’s over.

Honestly, I could offer a hundred different things I think a new mum should know, but each experience is so different, and each child is so unique, that even a list that long wouldn’t cover it all. With that in mind, I’m going to share the 6 most important things a new mum should know. 

If you’re a new mom or an expecting mum, this is for you. Please remember that every baby 👶 is different 

PLEASE REMEMBER 👇

• The following advice is just to give you an insight of what you need to know.
• That no one knows your baby like you, you’re the expert of your baby. So be aware of that, don’t beat yourself up if your baby is not doing the same thing as other babies his age are doing. All children are different.
• So cut yourself some slack and trust your instincts and gut feelings, and give your baby a chance.

1️⃣Things May Not Go to Plan

You spend all this time preparing, but as soon as your little one arrives everything goes right out the window. Especially if you like to have control over everything, you may be in shock because your new baby has her own idea of how her life will be like 😃 .

That being said, if feeling prepared helps to calm your nerves, keep doing what you’re doing. But if things don’t pan out the way you thought after you have your precious baby (they usually don’t ), go easy on yourself.

Please remind yourself that just because things aren’t going according to plan doesn’t mean you’re not doing a good job.

2️⃣Bonding with Baby May Take Time

We’ve all heard the stories about how the moment a child is born there is this heavenly euphoria that washes over the new mother, but that’s not always the case. If you find it difficult to bond with your baby straight away, don’t worry, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s ok, sometimes it may take time before you bond with your baby. There is nothing wrong with you. 

3️⃣Ask for help and accept if someone’s offer to help

This is not the time to be shy. If a friend or your sister asks to bring you dinner, say yes. If your mother-in-law wants to come and visit you after the baby is home, please say yes. You need all the help you can get. 

Don’t try to be a superwoman, everybody needs help. If you don’t have anyone around, get a cleaner to come around and help you around the house. 

4️⃣Your Relationship will be Tested

The journey from being a couple to becoming a family can be as tricky as it is rewarding. How do you keep your relationship strong when your new baby makes demands on your emotions, time and energy? I ask some experienced mums and dads how they did it.

What can we do to stay close?

“Every day, no matter how tired you are, spend time with your partner and talk about your day, your feelings and your worries. Just five minutes at dinner is better than nothing at all”. Sometimes you will need a break, take turns in looking after the baby especially at night 👶 

You guys need to be a united front in front of your children. So, start talking about rules now and what your partner’s take on parenting is. You and your partner need to be a team and be on the same page.

5️⃣YOUR WEIGHT STRUGGLES

After your baby is born, do not expect to snap right back into your pre-pregnancy clothes.

To be honest, the great weight struggle is just one of the many things new moms are going to experience. After you deliver, whether naturally or via C-section, you’re going to need time to recover. It’s mother nature’s biggest prank: just when you need rest and sleep the most, your baby will pretty much prevent you from getting either. For the first few weeks, your hormones do a complete nosedive. Just accept now that you’ll spend hours sobbing irrationally and be forced to wear the biggest sanitary pads. 

The silver lining is that it’s all temporary. You’ll get back to being your old self soon enough, or not 😃

6️⃣Stop Comparing

Yourself. Your husband. Your baby.

Everybody’s journey is different, don’t expect your journey to be identical to anyone else’s. If your little baby isn’t crawling the exact week that your friends Baby’s did, it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with your baby, and there’s nothing wrong with your parenting. Don’t worry, your baby will crawl when they are ready.

BONUS POINT;

Set routine as soon as possible.

IF you want to have a good night sleep, it is important to set up a routine immediately you bring your baby home from the hospital. 

(Check my previous post on routine)

MY FINAL THOUGHTS 

Don’t feel guilted or pressured into anything that isn’t working for your family.

Above all, the only thing I can tell a new parent with absolute certainty is… this too shall pass. In the beginning, everything is a phase or a stage, and those things that keep you up at night now will become second nature in time, or they will no longer be an issue. ♥️

P.S – All the new mama out there well done you’re doing great; your baby is lucky to have you as their mum. Relax more and remember to ask for help when you need it 🥰♥️

Dear parents, what other advice will you share with new mum 👇👇👇

My goal is to inspire new moms to capture those precious moments that are so overemphasis lost if we don’t write them down. Use this beautifully design baby book to record the little things about your baby’s first year and one day you can look back and cherish this incredible journey of your blessings

PS: Next week we are going to talk more on what your baby need, breastfeeding, and more so stay tuned 

Thanks 

Olu

Good morning beautiful people, I trust you’re well 💖💖

On Monday, one of my Facebook group members asked me a question about how Potty trained her child. 

So today here are some tips on Potty training, I hope it helps 🥰♥️🤗

🌈POTTY TRAINING TIPS 👇👇

Are you thinking of potty training your two-year-old? 

There are different methods you can potty train your child. 

Today I will be sharing some of the methods that people have used and have worked for them. 

Before you start, you need to know if you and your child is ready to be potty trained 😊

Your child might be ready for potty training if; 

🌺They are able to tell you they want to pee or poo

🌺They understand command (they understand when you asked them to do something like “can you please go and put your cup on the table?” 

And on your part, you need to be available for 3 consecutive days to focus solely on this task in order for this to work.

Commitment is the key here, because it is hard work, but the reward is greater in the end 😃

🌺Here are some the Supplies you need👇

Panties, 6 and more

Paper towels

Carpet cleaner 

Timer ⏱ 

Day 1

In the morning, when your child wakes up, take their diapers off and take them straight to the toilet and explain to them what is happening. You can say things like, “today we are going to say bye to our nappy and we are going to start peeing in the toilet 🚽” 

After breakfast, you need to take them to pee, remember no underwear, just their clothes for that day. 

You don’t need to ask them, just say it’s time to go potty and stay with them, sometimes they will go, most times they wouldn’t, or they will go on the floor 😃.  It’s ok because you’re teaching them. 

When they pee on the floor, please don’t shout at them, that’s what you want isn’t it. (you wanted her to pee, and she did 😃). All you need to do is explain to them that we only pee in the toilet, not the floor. 

Be careful to watch your tone and your body language because they are watching you, if you’re too strict with them they will be scared, and they may not listen. Give them lots of praises 👏🏾👍♥️🤗.

You may need to keep them away from the carpet or the sofa 🛋.

 You need to keep an eye on them all the time, but don’t make a fuss. 

One thing to remember is that, because it’s the first day, expect lots of accidents 😃 (you need to be prepared).

Day 2

You are going to repeat the same thing you did on the first day all over again. 😃

But most times by the end of day 2 you should probably see less accidents if day one was done well, they might even ask to want to go to the bathroom without you prompting them. 

REPEATING INSTRUCTIONS 

Make sure you keep reminding them, that if they feel like peeing or pooping, they need to go to the potty 🚽 

Set a timer for every 15 minutes and take them, if they don’t go, you need to reset the timer for another 5 minutes until they go. 

Don’t ask them if they want to go, just take them, if the timer goes off.

 But the second day, you might need to encourage them to use their words to tell you if they need to go. 

You also need to remind them, “if you need to go potty you need to tell mummy, pee pee and poo poo go in the potty” 

Day 3 

This is the day that you’re going to test out what you have been doing so far. 

But don’t forget to take them to the toilet first thing in the morning, to give them a chance to go. 

You should start seeing progress on the third day but expect accidents 😃.

If you follow these instructions to the letter, your child should be able to tell you they want potty by the fourth day without you asking them. 🚽 

Please remember, 

• Potty training does not take only three days to execute, it takes practice. The first three days would be an introduction to potty training with your child. Look out for telltale signs that your child needs go even before they tell you such as dancing about, holding of their bottom, giving you weird and uncomfortable looks, that is your cue to ask them if they want to go, and most times their answer would be yes. 

• Accidents happen even when they are well potty trained, you simply remind them that we poop and pee in the potty.

• It isn’t a competition, if your child isn’t ready, do not force it because you/ society expects children to be potty trained at 2. Case in point, my daughter was fretting because her friend’s daughter was going in the potty, but her own daughter was making a fuss about being potty trained, a few months later, Athena was fully ready to be potty trained and does not even where a diaper to bed, while the friend’s daughter still wears diaper to bed. EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. 

• It might take longer for your child to ask to poop in the potty than to ask to pee.

• Your child might still need a nappy to sleep. 

Good luck and I hope this helps. 

This is for you Aminat 🤗♥️♥️♥️

#positiveparentingwitholu

#beintentional

#toddlerslife

#pottytrained

#positiveparenting

#proudmom

#happyparenting

Thanks and please leave a comment below if you have something to add

Olu ♥️♥️

Hello beautiful people

Every Tuesday I share my parenting experiences and I also share some positive parenting tips to help you guys become better parents.

Today I’m going to talk about how to HOW TO RAISE RESPONSIBLE CHILDREN

What does it mean to be a responsible person?

Have you ever wondered why it’s so important to teach your kids to be responsible?

❕Do you sometimes say these statements to your kids? You need to be responsible!

Do you think they fully understand what you mean by that?

So how do you teach your kids to be responsible? ⁉️

🖍Being responsible means that you take ownership over your decision and your action. 

📌So teaching your kids to be responsible, will help them to become a dependable person and a problem solver. 

📌As a parent we need to remember that we are first our Child’s teacher, so you’re a teacher to them and as well as a parent.

📌We all want our children to grow up to grow up to be compassionate, independent and to make positive contributions to society 

✏️So what are some things we can do in their developing years to help nurture that❓

🌺The first you can do is to just model morality.

If you’re a good person, if you do the right thing you don’t have to teach them,  remember kids copy what they see far more often than  they listen to what you say. 

So the real work of teaching a child to be ethical and compassionate is to be that yourself as a parent.

🌼The second thing you can do is to give your child choices. 

Start early, right from the time your child even understands what you’re talking about. 

During lunch you can ask them questions like do you want a white plate or a red plate? 

Why does this matter?

Well, judgement develops from experience, and sometimes good judgment develops from bad experiences. 

So kids really need the chance to make decisions right from the beginning. That way the decisions they make when you’re out of their sight, or when they are teenagers are going to be better decisions. 

🌸The third thing you can do is teach them Problem solving skills. Problem solving is basically just learning and understanding the law of cause and effect. And then making choices for ourselves based on what we’ve observed.

🌹 For example; let’s say your son broke his little sister’s toys, instead of yelling at him or punishing him for breaking his sister’s toys, rather ask him, what can you do to solve this problem you’ve created? Wait for him to come up with an idea on how to fix it.

 That’s how children learn, even though we are human and sometimes we make mistakes, but we can always make things better. This empowers them instead of making them feel like a bad person.

🍀The fourth and final thing you can do is to believe and trust your kids, but it has to be based on age.

Tell them often that you trust that they are going to make good decisions. When they are struggling with some decisions, you can encourage them and maybe say things like “I know that you’re going to be a good person and you’re going to make the right choice. 

Of course, we know  they don’t always make the right choice. 

When they make mistakes please don’t clean up their mess and also don’t belittle them,  don’t criticise them, don’t say I told you so. Instead be there to guide them.

My Final Thoughts 💖

⭐️Dear parents, please remember this, when your children make a bad choice they already see the consequences the society is giving it to them,  they don’t need you on top of it and they also don’t need you running around cleaning up for them.

Thanks 

Olu ♥️

#positiveparentingwitholu

#beintentionaleveryday

#parentingtips

#beresponsible

#goodchoice

#beagoodrolemodel

#positiveparenting

#problemsolvingskillstips

Today I’m going to talk about one of the main reasons why children misbehave.

Children misbehave because they don’t know how to behave appropriately.

When a child doesn’t know how to behave properly then misbehaving is not the right word to use here!

Most of us know so much about the brain that it takes a lot of time and lots of experience for all those neurons (information messengers in our brain) to work together causing synapses (connecting information from one neuron to another)  to grow that strong and then make a child to develop empathy, language skills, creativity and problem-solving skills. 

NOTE 🎯Loving interaction with caring adults strongly stimulates a child’s brain. (If you want to learn more about how children’s brains work, buy this book – THE WHOLE BRAIN-CHILD by – DR DANIEL J. SEIGEL

When we understand this, it will make more sense, and we will stop expecting a child to do something that is developmentally inappropriate for them. 

For example, expecting your two-year-old to sit at a table with you in a restaurant for over 2 hours without getting impatient or bored. 

Another thing I would like to say is that you can’t expect your child to know how to behave if you haven’t deliberately taught or shown them how to behave, especially in a scenario that they’ve never experienced before. 

 If you really think about this, it’s not really them misbehaving, it’s more like they don’t really know how to behave. 

I would like to point this out though, if you have a 3 – 4-year-old who likes to touch things when they are out with you, you shouldn’t yell at or punish them because touching is their way of exploring things, which is an expected behaviour.

So what can you do? 

The first thing you need to do as a parent is to teach them by example!! You need to model the behaviour you want to see in your children. 

• Set some reasonable house rules (tailored it to your own family), 
• Set clear boundaries,
• Have consequences for failing to follow house rules, 
• Always follow through, be consistent!

Here are 2 common scenarios for everyday life 

Example1: 

Let’s say your 2-year-old child is throwing her toy around, simply take the toy away and explain to her calmly that toys are to be played with and not thrown around, and remind them of the house rules if they persist. 

Example 2: If you have a child who loves interrupting you during a conversation on the phone with someone else. 

After your conversation, you need to take your child aside and say something like, “this is really important, I need you to always wait till I’m through with my discussion whenever I am speaking on the phone and I promise to give you my full attention after the call. 

Of course children will always test the boundary, so here is when you follow up on the house rules and consequences, but remember to give them a warning first♥️

TIPS ON HOW TO TEACH KIDS TO BE WELL BEHAVED IN PUBLIC. 

1. To be polite to people/ Good manners, teach them how to greet and introduce themselves to others by making eye contact and teach them how to be a good conversationalist.
2. Communication, encourage conversation in your house, ask them about their day, and listen 🎧, you can also encourage them to ask you about your day or prompt them by saying, “why don’t you ask me how my day was?”. It’s very important to talk to our kids)
3. Playdates, teach them how to behave when they are on playdates, what to say and what not to say. Ask them what they would say to the host after the playdate, if they’re not sure, teach them what to say
4. Talk to them about how to behave when they meet new members of their family or a family friend (teach them how to show respect and what to do when they are asked questions, and so on, you get the gist)
5. Talk to them about who they are allowed to go to for help and why, (especially asking for money) . This is very important, but every house is different. As for my family, my son knows he’s only allowed to go to myself and his dad for help, especially when it comes to money 💰
6. Talk to them about not interrupting you when you’re having a conversation with others beforehand, and the reason why it’s not acceptable. (this is really a tricky one, but the best thing you can do is maybe give them a hand signal ✋that says give me five minutes, and make sure you stick to it!). If after five minutes you still haven’t finished your conversation with the other person, you need to tell the other person to hold on and ask your child for more minute and explain why in a calm voice
7. Shopping with them; plan ahead before you go shopping. Ask them to help you write the shopping list, have them help you get things off the shelf, put things in the basket. Telling children about what to expect from any situation helps.

My final thoughts: 

My final thought 

Dear parents, the honest truth is that there is no proven technique to inspire good behaviour in kids, the most important thing is to lead by example. 

Let your child see how you care for people around you, hear the kind words you use, and see you doing your duty regardless of being told. These acts will be enough to encourage empathetic behaviour in your child. 

🎯MODEL THE BEHAVIOUR YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE 

Please leave a comment below to share more tips on how and what to teach children about how to behave in public 👇👇👇

Thanks 

Olu

Every Tuesday I come here to share my parenting experiences and I share some parenting tips to help you guys become better parents. 

However, today, I’m going to share something very personal to me, because one of my children stammers. 

Today’s post is to encourage teenagers and young adults who believe that stuttering would hinder them from public speaking or becoming whatever they choose to be. 

If your child or your teenager stammers, this is for you. 

Stuttering is a speech disorder that can cause a person to repeat, interrupt, or prolong sounds, syllables, or words when trying to speak, and it is affected by more than 70 million people worldwide. 

People who stutter usually find it hard to get their words out although they know exactly what they’d like to say. The words may seem to get stuck, or you may find yourself repeating them over and over. You may also pause at certain syllables.

Stuttering affects people of all ages, but it’s most commonly seen in children ages 2 to 6. This is called developmental stuttering and may have multiple causes. According to estimates, about 75 percent of children lose this stutter with time.

The remaining 25 percent experience this condition throughout adulthood.

What causes stuttering?

There are multiple possible causes of stuttering. Some include:

1️⃣. Family history of stuttering 

2️⃣. Family dynamics – (family influence) 

3️⃣. Neurophysiology (function of the brain) 

4️⃣. Development during childhood

(I will talk more on the causes later in my posts) 

My son’s story 👇

My oldest son Damilola will be 28 years old on Saturday, and he stammers. (He permitted me to share this story) 

Even though he stammers, he has a master’s degree in business management, he is a public speaker, an entrepreneur, a writer, a musician, a coach, a graphic & web designer, has multiple businesses, and he is very creative and innovative. He is also an influencer and a YouTuber. 

Everything he achieved today is by God’s grace and through his own hard work. 

 Above all he is very kind, generous, respectful, considerate, gentle, sensible and very caring, and he is my son. 

Why I am telling you all this 👇👇👇

You may have a child who stutters, who may find it difficult or feel ashamed to talk in front of an audience. Or you might find yourself questioning if you’d ever be able to speak normally like others without stumbling through every word.  

I want to let you know that you cannot live your life being afraid of stuttering.  

When my son was little, he didn’t talk a lot. He is still a very quiet person, but when he is on the stage or in front of an audience, he is a different person. He once told me he feels like he can fly whenever he speaks in front of a camera. He is at his happy place. ♥️

Most people who stutter are not afraid of their stutter, they are afraid of people’s reaction to them stuttering. 

You need to remember that no one is perfect, everyone has something they deal with, a struggle, a challenge. You can’t stop living your life because of this, you’re stronger than you think! 

You just need to learn how to manage it.

Treatment for children:

Early treatment with a professional can be very helpful in preventing long-term stuttering. 

A parent or guardian can help a stuttering child by being patient when communicating with the child, listening carefully instead of interrupting, and checking in on their progress and feelings.

If you stutter, here are some exercises that may help.  

*Whenever you’re about to speak, take a deep breath.

*Think about what you want to say and speak slowly. 

*Don’t rush, take your time.

*Always remember you’ve got this. 

*Your words matter, people need to hear them!

Today my son has overcome it, and so can you. 

By the way, he still stutters sometimes, but he never allows that to stop him from being a blessing. 

Stand up today and start chasing your dream. You can do anything. 

Anytime you feel like giving up, remember Dammy.

Watch his videos on YouTube, because he has a lot of inspiring videos on YouTube (you can also Google Daniel Dammilola Nejo and you will see most of his work) 

Don’t shut up and don’t stop talking. 

DON’T BE AFRAID! You’ve got this

Having a stutter is a small part of who you are, you are bigger than your stuttering 

My final thoughts 

We all have something that we have to conquer, you may have a fear of heights, or difficulty with a certain subject, or something that you just have been trying to master that is not clicking.

What I’m trying to say is that we all have that one thing that is one challenge, we can decide to quit, or we can keep going. THE CHOICE IS YOURS! 

Remember this, when you fail at something, don’t quit, just keep going because you are someone’s answer to a prayer. 

P.S : Please dear parent if your little child stutters please don’t interrupt or shame him, most children who stammer are already scared, so please be kind to them 

Here is my son on one of his YouTube channel 👇👇

Thanks for reading through 

Olu 🥰♥️♥️♥️💕

#positiveparentingwitholu 

 #stammeringawareness

#mysonshines 

#momofyoungadult

#proudmom

#momslove 

#bebrave

#doitsfraid

#parentingwithpurpose

#beintentional 

#positiveparentingtips

#freeparentingtipstuesdays

#positiveparentingtips

Do your children struggle in school? 

Do they find it hard to follow spoken instruction? 

Do they misspell words like said, there, and does? 

Do they confuse letters with a similar shape, such as b and d? (Do they sometimes write b as d?)

If you answered yes to one or more of the above questions, your child may have dyslexia (learning difficulties).

Dyslexia Is a common learning disorder which affects a person’s ability to read, write, and spell.

The word “dyslexia’ simply means “difficulty with words.” Although many people associate dyslexia with the switching of letters in a word, it’s a reading disorder that extends beyond simple letter conversion. 

 As children get older, they may exhibit other signs of dyslexia, such as difficulty with spelling and delayed language development. 

Every once in a while, I have parents complain to me that their child cannot read, although it may seem that the child is slow or unable to focus, but it could simply be that the child is missing out on the right techniques for them to learn to read. 

Children who are dyslexic may have concerns with understanding letter sounds, and or understanding how words rhyme. They may not be able to put words together to read and may find it hard to express themselves through writing. 

Dyslexia is a lifelong condition and is the most common learning disability.

According to experts, dyslexia affect 20% of the population, and it tends to run in families. 

🎯It’s really important to understand that just because your child has dyslexia does not mean they are stupid, they just learn differently from other kids. 

The effects of dyslexia vary from person to person and it can lead to a number of problems including trouble learning, and social problems such as low self-esteem, behaviour problems, anxiety, and withdrawal. 

Early diagnosis and intervention is important. Children will get extra help early and may improve their reading skills enough to succeed in school. 

Today I’ll be sharing some of the tips I use when working with dyslexia children

ACTIVITY IDEAS FOR  DYSLEXIA KIDS 

🍭Reading – Read with them every day and talk to them about the book you’re reading with them 😊.

🍭Practice writing short sentences. 

🍭 Break words apart for them when teaching them, for example; – The word “BRUSH” B-RU-SH.  

🍭Read short story book- encourage them to read books with pictures independently and ask them questions about what they’ve just read. 

🍭Stop when they are tired (it’s not how much they’ve done, but how well they’ve learned),

🍭Use objects for teaching them math (or any toys they love).

🍭Because most of them are visual learners, it’s best to use more pictures, images, and objects when supporting them in their learning. 

🍭Make it fun and be patient with them. Remember they can’t help it; it’s how their brain works.

🍭Praise them often, even if they score 4/10 in the spelling tests. Praise their efforts 😊

🍭They may be slow to get something but with your help they will, and with your encouragement they will do well. 

For younger children repetition is key! 

When reading with your child, let them see the – words and pictures alike. 

Encourage them to follow the flow of words with a finger as you read. Make it fun 🤩.

Put some action in your reading time with them 😀.

If you want your child to grow up thinking reading is so fun an activity and well worth the extra effort involved … well it’s time to start practising those silly 😜 voices😀

MY FINAL THOUGHTS 

Dear parents, please pay attention to this, it may be the reason why your kids are struggling in school, and please don’t punish your child because they are struggling in school, it’s not going to help. Beating will not help a child understand what he or she doesn’t understand, rather find out why they are struggling and support them. 

There will be times when your child doesn’t want to continue with the activities that they have been assigned to and it’s important that you are there to act as a warm loving firm hand guiding them along the way. You also need to be more patient and use a lot of positivity. 

It’s important to celebrate their personal success not just the ones that are related to their reading or writing, and math. 

If they do well in some extracurricular activities be sure to praise them for it. Having success in a field they enjoy can help them to better face the areas of academic life that are more difficult for them.

Educate yourself 

The more you know about the subject the better prepared you are to deal with it. 

Having a better understanding of dyslexia and how it manifests itself makes it easier for you to support someone that has the condition. It’s also important for you to know that there is so much you can do for your child.  A little research, a little knowledge and a whole lot of patience can go a long way. 

A lot still needs to be done in our educational system. 

In some parts of the world, children are still being made to repeat the same class because they failed an exam. I’m not sure that helps because a child with dyslexia has a different way of learning, and I think rather than failing them, teachers should be trained on how to support children with dyslexia instead.

.

Thanks for reading through 

Olu 

Have a wonderful day 🥰♥️♥️♥️♥️

#positiveparentingwitholu

#teachingtips

#dyslexiaawareness 

#beintentional

Children who lie are often considered antisocial and lacking in morals, and parents can wonder what they did wrong to raise a dishonest child. 

Please Remember this 👉 LYING IS A BEHAVIOURAL ISSUE NOT A MORAL ISSUE!

For most kids, Lying is the beginning of imagination, but when it persists or when it has negative patterns it really does get in the way.

I’ve had kids come to me at school and  tell me they 

Came to school in a limousine 😀 ( I know it’s just a make believe stories in their head, that’s can’t be considered a lie) 

It’s not uncommon for children of all ages to tell lies at some point in their lives.

Children ages 3, 4  and even five years old will  see make-believe stories and want to tell tall tales sometimes it’s simply just entertaining and fun for them. 

As children start to grow older adolescent age they start to tell lies that are more than likely self-serving often to get out of trouble.

Children do also start to have a bit of confusion between a lie that get them out of trouble versus a lie that is to protect someone’s feelings

One of the things we have to remember as parents is that if children are lying very frequently and very consistently that there may be a bigger problem that needs to be considered. 

Also, Children that are lying in addition to having other behavioural difficulties may need some help. 

At some point, parents may need to sit down and help their children understand the importance of telling the truth. And there need to be some consequences involved in helping to steer children in the direction of the truth.

WHY CHILDREN LIE

🍀Because they love you 

🍀They have been trained to lie for fear of punishment 🍀They don’t trust you with their truth 

🍀Because they feel bad about the truth

🍀Peer pressure 

🍀To get out of trouble 

🍀To gain some kind of attention 

🍀To avoid what’s been asked of them 

🍀Habits- sometimes kids just lie for no good reason because it has become an habits. 

(I will elaborate more on this 👆in my subsequent post,) 

HOW DO YOU ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO BE HONEST? 

Dear parents, please don’t make your child scared of telling you the truth and don’t encourage them to lie. 

Let your children know that there is nothing in this world that they cannot tell you and that you will be there for them no matter what. 

Listen to them, don’t blame and don’t punish them, stay calm and think about how you can support them.

Always think about the “Why” 

Ask yourself why they are lying to you?  Is it because you’re scared of your reaction if they tell you the truth?  Are they afraid of upsetting you? 

 Then consider how they are feeling. In most cases they will not be feeling good if they have done something wrong, they are likely to feel anxious, scared, guilty and worried. 

Lastly think about what you want to achieve in terms of discipline. If you want them to tell you the truth in the future you must work on your response to them, you must stay calm and help to guide them to a better response or better choice in the future. 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS 

Role model Honest –  role model the behaviour you want to see in your children 

If you tell your child to tell someone you’re not home, because you don’t want to talk to that person, then what have you just done! ( I’m also guilty of this one).

Also, Let’s try to always keep our promise. 

Although this post has given you some tips on how to handle and decrease lying.  I think it’s important to understand that we all, every single one of us, lie. Lying as we’ve seen, is not always negative- sometimes, the motivation is unselfish 

IN CONCLUSION 

All kids will lie occasionally but it’s important to deal with dishonesty immediately so that it doesn’t become habitual. Once your child knows you expect the truth (and you consistently back up this expectation with consequences), you’ll likely see much more honesty in your home.

It’s likely your child will continue to lie at times, but your main goal here is to encourage a relationship with them in which they always feel safe enough to tell you their truth. 

This may not be what you want to hear but no matter what they tell you you must respond from a position of calmness, respect and support. 

Ultimately, our real goal as parent is to raise children who feel able to tell us anything and always come to us for help

Be intentional 

Happy parenting 

Olu 

#Positivparentingwitholu