WHY DO SOME TEENS HAVE TROUBLE GETTING MOTIVATED WITH THEIR STUDIES

Good morning my amazing parents, Does your child find it hard to study or do revision at home? Well, you are not alone!

I remember when my son was in year nine (8th Grade) and he kept getting low grades at school and feeling less motivated.

I had to quickly step in because he seemed not to care about anything except playing games with his friends online

So seeing that was the only thing that he was interested in, I had to talk to him and we both agreed that he could only play games on weekends and study on weekdays until his grades improve.

With his help, I came up with a study plan, and the deal was that he must stick to it if he wants to play games with his friends on weekends. 

It was hard initially, but I was consistent and I made sure I followed through and it eventually worked.

I know my son’s weaknesses and his strengths and I use that to my advantage. 

After a few months, his grade picks up. 

THINGS ONLY WORK WHEN WE WORK IT!

——————————-

So as a parent for your kid to do what you ask them to do, you must first show interest in what they like and talk to them about the bigger picture. 

Show them what they can achieve with more effort. 

We need to lead by example as well. 

Children are not born knowing all, they learn everything from us. 

Remember we are our children’s first teacher. 

♦️I know all children are different, but as parents, we need to take the lead sometimes, because we know what’s good for them after all. They may not like it, but they will thank you later. 

You need to be the driver of their life until they are an adult. Please don’t leave them to it. 

👉️There is a reason why kids are not allowed to get their driving license until they are 17 old in UK.

 I’m sure you want the best for them. So, show them! 

So here are some tips that can help your unmotivated child 😀👇👇👇

  1. GET INVOLVED (Do homework with them)
  2. USE REINFORCEMENT (give them high five, praise them, give them hugs)
  3. WORK WITH THEIR TEACHERS (ask their teachers for help) 
  4. HELP THEM SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE (remind them what they can achieve, if they have good grades, for example; with good grades they can choose any University they want even HARVARD if they work hard now)
  5. REWARD EFFORTS RATHER THAN OUTCOME (make sure you celebrate their efforts)
  6. LET THEM MAKE MISTAKES (don’t tell them off when they get things wrong)
  7. GET THEM A TUTOR IF YOU CAN’T HELP THEM (If you know you’re not able to support them at home get a private tutor) 

My final thought 

Dear parents, If you’re feeling yourself getting angry or frustrated with your kids take a step back.

Put things into context,  it is important to keep your goals in perspective.

Remember your child may not become an A student overnight, it will take daily practice and a lot of patience on your part! 

Make sure to focus on the effort she puts in and the commitment she shows instead of the outcome. 

 The goal here is to make sure your child reaches her potential. 

Thanks for reading through ❤️❤️

Please let me know what you think 👇

#allchildrenmatter

#beintentional

#beinspired

#happyparenting

#positiveparentingwitholu

HOW TO DISCOVER YOUR CHILD’S GIFT

Everyone is born with different strengths and weaknesses. 

As parents we are given the privilege of discovering our children’s gifts and talents. 

Whether they are physical, emotional or spiritual gifts.

So how do we go about discovering our children’s gifts? Here are 3 practical ways to do this.

First, we should pay attention and observe.  We can learn so much about our children’s personalities, likes and dislikes through observation. 

When we think back on certain situations or past events, we often discover something about our children’s gifts.

💎 You can do this by asking yourself these questions:

♦️What is my child good at?

♦️What does he enjoy doing? 

♦️Does he get excited about certain toys, situations? 

♦️What scares him?

♦️What comes naturally to her? (for example, organization, social situations, art, sharing, etc.) 

♦️Is there something they are passionate about?

💎Second, as parents we must provide our children with opportunities to grow and learn. 

Please don’t register them for everything, that may be too much for them to bear. 

But if your child expresses an interest in art or helping others, provide them with opportunities to experience it.

💎Last, but not least we must pray and ask God what He has for our children. Be specific in your prayers. Ask God what gifts He placed in your children. Ask throughout the years. Ask him to reveal the hidden treasures in your child.

‼️ 4 Practical Tips to Bring out Your Child’s Gifts

1️⃣ READ ALOUD TO THEM (especially when they’re still little) 

2️⃣ HELP THEM DISCOVER THEIR INTEREST 

3️⃣ WHEN THEY ASK YOU QUESTIONS ANSWER THEM (don’t dismiss their curiosity)

4️⃣ ENCOURAGE STORY TELLING 

5️⃣ ENROL THEM IN A PROGRAM DESIGN FOR GIFTED KIDS 

👉My final thought,

Dear parents, we must be patient. These things take time. We also must keep our expectations in check. Are we encouraging our children or pushing them to do things they weren’t created to do? Instead of forcing my standards on my kids, I want to discover what God has for them!

Please remember that not all boys will be good at football, some boys may love singing, dancing and drawing.

Encourage them because that’s what they love and makes them happy.

💚What talent or gifts do you see in your children❓

👉I love hearing from you guys so please share your thoughts in the comments below.👇

Thanks 🙏🏾 ❤️❤️❤️❤️💎

#giftedkids

#talented

#beintentional

#parenting

#everychildhastalents

#positiveparentingwitholu

#everychildmatters

#children

#moms4life

#reading

#inspiration

Sometimes we’re so academically focused; we overlook the role of creativity, imagination, and fun.” Genius can’t be taught, but it can be encouraged.

FUN ACTIVITIES YOU CAN DO WITH YOUR CHILDREN AT HOME (and some Homework Tips)

Hello beautiful people 💕💕💕

Parents are a child’s first teacher, so helping and supporting your children in their learning at home  will improve how well they do in school. 

Young kids are eager to learn when you introduce things to them. 

They take everything in, and even the smallest things you do with them can make a big difference. 

So today I’m going to share some fun activities you can do with your 3-5 Year old and homework support ideas for older kids . ❤️

————————-

ACTIVITIES FOR 3-5 Year olds 

💎 ROLE PLAY

Try role-play games together such as shopping, set items on the sofa, give your child a bag and some pretend money. Then switch roles and let them be the shopkeeper. 

💎 ASK THEM OPEN QUESTIONS

Start conversation by using open questions with lots of possible answers, for example – “what are you going to play with today” 

💎 PLAY SORTING GAME TOGETHER 

Collect a range of different household objects and practice sorting them into different groups, it could be sorted in sizes or colours. Once you have finished, count all the objects in each group.

💎 TEACH THEM HOW TO WRITE THEIR NAMES 

You may need to start off with Pre-writing exercise to get them to have good pencil control. 

You will need a plain sheet of paper and a Felt tip pen. Or buy Handwriting Practice paper. 

Then you need to draw different lines or shapes like; – circle and square on the plain sheets. 

Ask your child to trace with her finger first before tracing with a pen. 

Once your child has established a good pencil control and they can trace and stay in the line, you can now move on to a white board. 

You might need to show them how to write first. 

You want to start off, letter by letter of their name. 

👉 6 TIPS FOR HELPING YOUR OLDER CHILDREN WITH HOMEWORK. 

  1. Create a homework plan- but let your child decide when they prefer to do homework after school. But make sure they stick to it
  2. Create a quiet space for them to do their homework (a desk and table will do, or your dining table)
  3. Help them with their homework, by discussing it with them. But don’t do it for them. Children learn by trying, always allow them to try first. You can sit with them as they complete their homework. 
  4. Praise their efforts and allow them to take a break when they are tired and come back to it  later. Remember to do little but often. Children lose focus quickly. 
  5. Test them on Spellings and Timetables (many children find these very difficult do do without help) 
  6. Seek advice from your child’s teacher if they are finding a particular subject difficult (it usually helps)

Your ability as a parent goes beyond supporting your child with their homework. You can also read with them or they can read to you daily, discuss books with them Take them out to places like museums, and watch documentaries together. And more. 

Dear parents, I know we are all busy, but we need to remember that for things to work, we need to work it.

We need to be intentional about these things. Our children are our future

Stay tuned for more fun ideas you can do with your little precious 🥰🥰🥰

Thanks pls let me know what you think 👇👇

Have a blessed Tuesday 🥰❤️❤️

#allchildrenmatters

#beintentional

#positiveparentingwitholu

KIDS BACK TO SCHOOL ( NOW WHAT?)

I was having a conversation with a mum yesterday about the steps she can take when preparing her kids for upcoming exams. 

I would like to share some of the advice I gave her, I hope that’s ok 👇👇

❇️Start early, (when they are 6 or 7 years old) the earlier you start the better for them. 

❇️Have structures in please and follow it (your children  are watching you to see if you will stick to it 😃) 

👉 Don’t overload them with work if you start early they will be used to working at their own pace and they will not be over when especially when preparing for any tests in the future.

❇️Track their progress – this will help you to know if they are making progress and also help you to know where they need help in, so you can then focus on their weakness

👉Tips on building your children’s Vocabulary: 

Encourage them to read a book daily. 

When your child is reading,  get them in the habit of stopping when they find new words.  

Encourage them to underline those new words they found, and then write it down. Tell them to look for the meaning on Google and maybe use it when they are talking to you or others. For example (instead of saying I’m hungry- they can say I’m famished) you get the point! 

❇️And encourage them to practice them timetable daily

Go on YouTube,  there are lots of Timetable songs on there. 

(singing is fun and they are likely to remember their time bales this way) 

❇️Remember all children are different

❇️Remember no child is born dumb, they just need an adult to believe in them and give them lots of chances to proof themselves. Be patient with them 

❇️Some children takes longer to process information,  that doesn’t make them any less intelligent it’s just their way of learning

❇️If you hired a tutor, make sure you don’t leave everything to the teacher you need to help them at home as well

🛑Remember – Learning is a gradual process, don’t put too much pressure on them, spread the work evenly 

But you must have high expectations for them, and they will rise up to it. (FROM WHOM MUCH IS GIVEN MUCH IS EXPECTED) 

Please do not have unrealistic expectations. You know your own child better. 

Always expect good things from them. Trust me they will surprise you! ( I see this play out most times in my son, and the children I tutor every time) 

👉Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for wanting what’s best for your child. You know your child better than anyone else 

Please let me know what you think in the comment below 👇

UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD’S LEARNING STYLES

‼️Learning Styles: Identifying Your Child’s Strengths. 

Dear parents, we need to keep our eyes and ears open to figure out what works best for our children when it comes to learning. 

❇️Some children are hands-on, while others work best through language and do well with reading. 

❇️Some children understand things better than they remember them.

❇️There are many different patterns of learning, and the best thing that you can do as parents is to step back and observe what seems to be happening and what seems to be working with your child.

‼️We need to start paying attention to our child’s learning style from an early age of  6 or 7.

❇️Understanding your child’s general attitude to life can also help you determine his or her learning style. 

👉For example, is your child adventurous? 

Inventing? 

Or thinking/creating like a poet or a philosopher?

❇️An adventurous personality really has to move to learn, so sitting at a desk all day doesn’t do it for them.

❇️ A child with an inventing disposition asks a million questions, such as ‘How does this work?’ ‘What about this?'”

‼️Another thing to observe is your child’s “learning modality” 

This refers to which senses your child best learns through. 

👉Are they auditory (listening and verbal), visual (picture or print), or tactile-kinesthetics (hands-on, whole-body, sketching or writing)?

❇️Some children are more visual and need pictures to learn, while writer learners need words. 

❇️Another aspect of learning style involves the environment. For example, noise, temperature or lighting may affect some children’s ability to learn.

❇️For one child, temperature might not make a difference, but some children can’t concentrate if it’s too hot, and/or lighting can be a crucial factor for some people if fluorescent lighting causes eyestrain. 

‼️LEARNING STYLES: Playing to Your Child’s Strengths

👉Once you have identified your child’s learning style, you can begin to build on his or her strengths to compensate for learning weaknesses — without labels.

🥰If a little girls has a lot of spatial problems (difficulty picturing things), but is terrific in English, she can learn math by putting everything into her own words. 

If you show her a rectangular shape and ask her to talk about it, will she understand it?

❇️She can only understand things in words, which is why she is such a terrific English student.

👉Another way to enhance learning is to focus on your child’s affinities and areas of interest.

❇️A lot of strength could ride on the aid of their passions, and you can build academic skills in that area.

❇️Have them become an expert in the area that they feel passionate about.

👉We really should encourage our children’s interests, talents and what they love to do. 

♦️Parents tend to say ‘If you are not doing well in school, you can’t take swimming lessons,’ but those are things that can build self-esteem.

💟My final thoughts 

Acknowledging and honoring their interests and talents tells you a lot about their learning style.

 If your child is really interested in plants and gardening, you can see if they are more hands-on and they need to go out there and garden. Or do they learn better from pictures about gardening, or reading about gardening?

So, dear parents, do you know your children’s learning styles? Leave a comment below if you do 👇👇👇

#positiveparentingwitholu

#learningstyles

#kidsareawesome

UNDERSTANDING YOUR CHILD LEARNING STYLES: (Part 1)

BACK TO SCHOOL (SUPPORTING YOUR CHILD AT HOME)

Today’s post is about – KNOWING YOUR CHILD LEARNING STYLES:

 I learn a lot working with young children. All children are different, so they learn differently too. 

I never write any child off, because children have a way of surprising you. I give them lots of chances to prove themselves. 

No child is dumped. We as parents/adults  just need to understand their learning styles and be patient. And when you do, you will see a significant improvement in them. 

Every child learns in a slightly different way, and figuring out your child’s own learning style can help assure academic success.

As parents we need to learn as much as we can on how to use our children learning styles to make school easier for them

Don’t panic if your daughter has trouble spelling or your son can’t sit still during maths class. It may be that he or she simply has a different learning style.

Watch out for my post tomorrow, because I will be sharing step by steps on how to identify different learning styles of children

So stay tuned

WISHING ALL THE CHILDREN WRITING 11 PLUS EXAMS TODAY BEST OF LUCK.

Well done for all your efforts and your BEST is good enough! Be proud of yourselves

Thanks

Please leave a comment below if you have any thoughts on this

Thanks

Olu

#11plusexams

5 MISTAKES I MADE WHEN CHOOSING A SECONDARY SCHOOL FOR MY SON

In the UK the main times when parents will be applying for school places will be when their children are entering primary or secondary school. 

Usually applications for secondary schools should be made by 31 October and applications for primary schools made by 15 January.

Dear parents, next month parents with children in Year 6 will be sent a letter from thier local government to start applying for secondary places for their kids.

Today I’m going to share with you some of the mistakes I made 7 years ago, when my son was in Year 6, that affected his learning and made him struggle a bit when he was in secondary school. I would urge you not to make the same mistake.

So here we go,  

  1. I DID NOT DO ANY RESEARCH ABOUT THE SCHOOL 
  2. I DID NOT GO TO THE OPEN DAY
  3. I DID NOT READ THE OFSTED REPORT
  4. I DID NOT CHANGED HIS SCHOOL WHEN HE WAS UNDERPERFORMING 
  5. I WAS SO BUSY TO SUPPORT HIM AT HOME WITH HIS LEARNING UNTIL GCSES 

———-

MY ADVICE TO PARENTS 👇

‼️PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU DO RESEARCH BEFORE YOU SEND YOUR CHILDREN TO ANY SCHOOL. ( your child’s academic future depends on this) 

✅Check the school league table

✅Check how many children pass GCSES in that school every year. 

✅Check their Ofsted Report 

✅Take time off work and visit the school, ask questions 

Dear parents, it’s very important that you do some research about the schools you want your school to go to.

👉Please don’t be like me, I didn’t do any research before I applied for a secondary place for my son. 

He struggles academically in the school and I left him there without looking for an alternative school until it was time for him to sit for GCSEs, which was a bit too late. 

👉Don’t allow the school to put your child in a box, don’t listen to them especially when they told you his expected grade is D, don’t settle for less. Your children have more potential.

👉If you see that your child is not making progress in their school and the schools are not helping, please change the school to a more better performing school. 

Change is inevitable. 

Your child might not like the change, but as parents you need to do what’s right for your child . 

Please don’t leave things to the last minute . 

Do you know if your child is a Harvard or Oxford candidate, you need to start supporting them now when they are still in preschool, because they can’t do it themselves. 

But you are going to be the one that will help them get there.  

🖍You need to consistently start working towards that now 

If you don’t know, find information. Google is your friend!

WHEN WE KNOW BETTER WE DO BETTER! 

If anybody should  have the best interest for a child, it should be you, the parents.

Do your bit and leave the rest for God

I have a lot more to say on this topic, stay tuned so I will be sharing more in my subsequent post.

Thanks for reading through 

I hope this helps 

Olu ❤️❤️❤️

STRATEGIES TO MOTIVATE CHILDREN IN THEIR LEARNING

Happy new week guys, hope you had a lovely weekend ❤️❤️

Lots of children are back to school this week, and some are starting a new school. 

So today, dear parents,  I thought I should share some tips with you today, in order to help you support your kids with their learning at home. 

Because as we already know, parents involvement is key and it goes a long way in helping kids succeed in school 

4 STRATEGIES TO MOTIVATE CHILDREN IN THEIR LEARNING 

1️⃣FOLLOW THEIR LEAD 

Children are going to be more  motivated by the things they are interested in. You can apply this to their learning.

For example; let’s say your daughter loves singing and dancing, get her to read books on music and print out comprehension questions about music. Following their lead helps them to engage in their learning. They will definitely love that, because that’s what they are interested in. It also encourages them to take ownership of their learning. 

2️⃣ALLOW THEM TO SHOW THEIR CURIOSITY 

Children are very curious by nature, most kids love finding out about stuff, they love asking lots of questions. Trying to explain things that they are curious about is a great way to motivate them. 

Here are some fun and engaging questions you can ask your curios school aged children to get them thinking 🤔 

🖍How many minutes have you lived for?

🖍would you drink enough water in your life to fill a swimming pool? 

🖍How many vowels in the first names of all the members of your family?

3️⃣PRAISE PROCESS NOT OUTCOME

When a child gets the answers right that’s great, you want to congratulate them. But the most important thing to put emphasis on is the process. How did they get to the answer, ask them to explain their thinking to you. Ask them how did you get the answer? .

And even if they did not get the answers right, they’re doing the right thing to get to the answer, that’s what you want to be saying well done for 👏🏾

Because the problem is that, when we praise children just for what they got right, it leads to performance orientation. 

And this will make the child feel like I’m only going to do questions I know because I will be praised for getting it right and they won’t be motivated to try something new or hard questions because they don’t want to get it wrong. 

So if they always get Algebra questions wrong, when they are doing their work, you need to praise their effort and encourage them. As parents, that’s what you should be doing. Say things like “you kept trying even though you didn’t get it right. 

I hope this helps, please let me know what you think. 

Which of these strategies are you going to use? 

Thanks 

Olu ❤️❤️

#homelearning

#londonmom

#beintentional 

#positiveparenting

#positiveparentingwitholu

#readingwithkids

#homeworktips

#tutor

#learning

#studyplan

#momslife

#students

#children

#dailyroutine

#bepresent

#supportingkidsathome

#education

#blackkids

#examtechniques

#schoolsucess

SHOULD HOODIES BE BANNED IN PUBLIC?

“Mum, why do I get blamed for wearing a hoodie to stores?”

(STOP BLAMING MY CLOTHING) 

A lot of teenagers today seem to love wearing hoodies, my son wears hoodies all the time, because it’s comfortable for him. .

Today’s post is not about clothing, just want to make a point!

I think it’s unfair for people to judge teenagers or to be discriminated against for wearing a piece of clothing 😊

———————

Every time I send my son to a corner shop to get something for me, he always comes back with a complaint. 

He complains to me about how the security man that works in the stores kept following around 😀. 

“Mum, the manager of the shopping centre, told me to take it off. It’s not like I’m going to steal anything” he said angrily. 

I could see that my son wasn’t happy about this. 

I had a word with him about it, I told him not to take it personally, because the officer was just doing his job. 

“You fit the profile, you’re a black teenage boy and you are wearing hoodie” I explained 

I told him next time he goes to the shop, he should just focus on what he went there to do and leave without letting that bother him and pull down his hoodies from his head. 😃

If you are raising young black boys in a foreign country, I’m sure you will agree with me that it can be tricky sometimes. 

But as parents we need to keep talking to our children about stuff like this. 

They need to know that life is not always fair. Even at that, But they should always strive to do the right thing and not let things get to them. 

 Even if they’re good boys –   It’s what it is!

 ( this is just a mum ranting, because I don’t think it’s fair on our boys) 

Can you relate? 

Do you have any thoughts on what parents can do to stop this harassment? 

Or

Do you think there should be laws about what people can wear in public?

‼️My Answer to this question is👇

No, hoodies shouldn’t be banned. They keep you warm so I don’t see the problem. Not everyone who wears them is a thug.  

You shouldn’t stop people wearing what they want. It’s not the actual hoodies that go round mugging people – it’s the kids wearing them, and they are the ones that need to be stopped. 

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments

MY CHILD IS A BULLY! Help me!

A few weeks ago a parent told me that she thinks her daughter is a bully.

And she went on to tell me what happened and I gave her some advice.

I will be sharing some of the advice I gave her with you today, just in case you have a child that bullies or is being bullied by someone at school.

So today I will be talking about how to help your child that is bullying someone and how to support the child that has been bullied. 

First thing  I told her was, it’s not her fault! So it’s not your fault either! 

——————————-

Who is a bully? 

Google definition 👇

A bully seeks to harm, intimidate, or coerce (someone perceived as vulnerable).

Simply put; A bully is someone who says mean things or hits other people because they are angry

👉Let me start by saying it’s not your fault, if you have a kid that is bullying other kids. 

👉First thing to do is, you need to talk to your kids about what happened and listen to their side of the story 

👉Second thing to do is to think about the motivation behind this, because motives matter a lot. 

Studies show that there are 3 reasons why bullies bully.

So here are the 3 reasons why your child may be bullying someone else 

  1. They may be trying to be funny, that might be the reason why your kid is bullying somebody. They may innocently think it’s funny to do so. You may need to let them know that it’s not appropriate to laugh at someone or make fun of people.
  2. Another reason why kids bully other people may be, because they feel insecure 😞 . They may feel insecure about themselves and they’re trying to make themselves feel better about themselves by putting someone else down. (Hurting people, hurt people)  As a parent it’s your job to get to the root of the matter of why your kids are behaving this way. And help them overcome that trap of internal insecurity. You may need to speak to a specialist or a therapist to help them get over this. You need to do whatever it takes, so that this behaviour does not continue with them when they get older. Find out what they are feeling insecure about, so that they will stop taking it out on other kids. 
  3. The third reason why your kids might be bullying someone else, is that they are retaliating. They might be bullying someone else because they feel like a victim and they’re retaliating in anger towards the person who hurt them. If this is the case, you need to address this victimisation and help them get over the effect.  You need to teach them how to forgive someone that hurt them and teach them how to manage their anger. 

Dear parents, you need to take this behaviour seriously. Let your child know that it’s not ok to bully other children 👶 

‼️Here are some negative behaviours that as parents we need to put a stop to early on and what you can SAY to your kids when they show these types of behaviour at home👇

👉Eye rolling; don’t accept the eye rolling. Say to them “that when you roll yours at me, what you’re saying to me is that I’m stupid” 

👉Silent treatment ; “when you stop speaking to me, what you’re saying to me indirectly is that you don’t like me anymore” 

👉When you sigh or kiss your teeth at me, “what you’re saying indirectly is that you’re sick of this and I just want to get out of here” ! 

“You may think you’re not communicating with me, but you are and I am not ok with it”. 

‼️As parents you need to curb this type of behaviour before it gets too much and more than you can take ❤️

‼️The reason why you need to curb that behaviour now, is because when girls resort to non verbal behaviour ways of expressing their problems, that’s the behaviour that continues with them when they get older. 

‼️Ultimately I think we all want our girls to grow up to become young women who are able to express themselves directly and not become young women who will sit in an office meeting and when they hear news they are not happy with roll their eyes and make noise. 

👉My final thoughts 

I need us to know that for these behaviours to stop, we need to lead by examples. Think about your own behaviour 🤔. 

Do you give your child silent treatment when they misbehave? 🤔

WHEN WE KNOW BETTER WE MUST DO BETTER‼️

#stopbully

#notobully

#positiveparentingwitholu

#beintentional