You have to start making smart choices in your life because, if you don’t, the judge won’t have any problems locking you up and throwing away the key.
FYI: They’re charging minors as adults in some cases nowadays. Trust me, they don’t care about your life. They will wash you up in a heartbeat, simply because you’re a black male.
Following the crowd will get you caught up. Trying to play the hard role will get you caught up. Trying to show out for others just to make a name for yourself will get you caught up. Stealing, robbing, selling drugs, etc…it will all catch up with you sooner or later.
The statistics for black males in prison are alarming. Give yourself a chance! Find another way!
No matter what upbringing you’ve had, it’s up to you to make a change. You can’t live your life making excuses for why you do what you do.
Prove them all wrong! Prove to yourself that you’re better than the life that was dealt to you.
Make sure you ALWAYS do the right thing always! You’re much better than that.
Choose your friend wisely.
Treat girls with respec.
Always do the right thing.
Be wise and focused at school.
Always DO YOUR BEST!
Trust your guts!
Be excellent in what you do. Being kind is cool too
YOUR LIFE MATTERS – So make sure you are intentional about everything you do daily.
God be with you!
YOU ARE GOD’S SON
Dear parents please share this post with your boys. And please continue to pray for them and all our boys! God bless us all 🙏❤️❤️
Parenting is hard work. I’m sure you’ll all agree with me if you’re a parent.
However, parenting a teenager is another ball game entirely!!!.
I should know because my last baby is 19 years old.
For those of you that don’t know me, I am a mother of 4 young adult children between 35 and 19 years old and a grandma to two beautiful girls.
So I know one or two things about being a parent. They say we learn from experience and most of what I share with you guys on this platform is from my own experience of being a parent.
So today I’m going to share a little bit about parenting teens.
As parents we need to have a lot of patience and lots of love for our teenagers.
Teenage years come with lots of ups and downs. I should know I have one at home.
One minute they will be sweet as lolly pop 🥤 and the next minute they will be so rude and annoying that you would want to slap them. (Please don’t!)
But in those moments you must keep your cool and you shouldn’t react to their behavior o – I know it’s hard, but you can do this.
I think as parents, if we really take time to get to know our teenagers or pre-teens we will find out that they are easy to be with.
What I realise about my journey with my son is that he just wants me to listen and understand him. And I try to listen most times, but I’m human so I missed it sometimes and when I notice this, I tried my best to reconnect with him more.
Sometimes as parents we get into lots of power struggles with our teens just because we’re impatient and we want to control things. This won’t work! You can’t control your teenagers, I’m sure you know that already.
Another thing that really help me to understand my son when he turns 13 was reading books on teenage brain.
I learnt a lot from reading parenting books and research.
It’s no brainer, if you want to learn about new stuff you must study that stuff. Knowledge is power.
Reading parenting books will help you a lot if you’re raising children.
Also, be patient with them, they’re going through a phase and it will pass. Trust me. They need us to be the adult. Remember our kids mirror our behaviour.
Please don’t get me wrong o, I’m not saying their hormones are to be blamed for all their bad moods or misbehavior.
My point is that let’s try to look beyond our teens’ misbehavior and let’s focus on the good things they do. If we change our approach they will change too and you will be surprised!
Also, I think we should try and respect their privacy and boundaries. And LISTEN more!
They are no longer children, they’re almost an adult and we should treat them like so if we want to have a great relationship with them.
Of course we still need to set boundaries because they need it.
We also need to realize that what our teens really want from us parents is to understand them and love them for who they are, not for what they’ve achieved.
I would also like to point out that when you notice that your teens are acting out a lot, that’s the time for you as parents to show more love to them and be more supportive of them. (Remember when a child/teens are acting out in school there’s always a reason behind every behavior.)
Dear parents, I beg you please, your teenagers need you, be there for them no matter what! (You’re all they’ve got)
At the end of the day, what all our children really want is someone to listen to them and love them for who they are and isn’t that what we all want?
Let’s make our home a safe haven for them.
Appreciate them when they do good things.
And let’s continue to treat all our children with respect and kindness 🙏🏾🩵🩵🩵
My final thoughts:
So dear parents, if you want your teenagers to be patient, responsible, respectful, caring, considerate, thoughtful and kind and more. THEN BE ALL THAT TO THEM AND OTHERS! It’s that Simple! (They are always watching)
Does my child have ADHD? (He is too active and he never sits still)
Has your child’s teacher let you know that they think your child has ADHD?
Teachers are often the first ones to suspect ADHD in children. That’s because ADHD symptoms affect school performance or disrupt the rest of the class. Also, teachers are with children for most of the day.
But teachers can’t diagnose ADHD.
They can tell you what they’ve noticed, but after that, you would need to get a professional to evaluate your child to see if they have ADHD or if something else is going on.
I think the school are too quick to diagnose boys to suit their own interests (that’s just my opinion)
This is something I felt passionate about!
Before you take the word of your child’s teacher for it, I will suggest that you do your research too.
I don’t think you should give your child medication because the school says to do so. Get a second and third opinion before you do so.
Most boys are energetic and full of energy, but school environments are not built for most boys who are active! So some of these boys are then labelled, or they suggest you use medication to modify their behaviour.
Yes I said it.
I used to work in school and I see what this medication does to children first-hand. Some of these medications give children headaches and change their personality.
Boys are energetic, they should be allowed to play more! But the school system is not built for this, so they use medication to modify the behavior of bored boys.
Please don’t get me wrong there are cases where some boys may need medication to calm them down. However before you put your son on any medication please make sure you get a second opinion.
You know your child!
Please dear parents, if you think your child may have ADHD, I suggest that you read and learn as much as you can about ADHD and it’s treatment.
In addition – Please remember this post is for awareness and to start a conversation. It’s not a diagnostic criterion, I’m a teacher, not a doctor. But I have seen what these medications do to some boys.
Today’s post is for any secondary/high school students that want to improve their grades.
As a teacher I get asked this questions often.
How do I get from a C or D student to an A student?
So today I’m going to share with you 4 tips that will help you improve your grades if you apply them!
TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY: Don’t blame your parents, don’t blame your teachers! Take accountability on why you’re doing bad. Maybe you’re not studying enough, maybe you’re not asking for enough help. But take that accountability and see where you can improve.
ASK FOR HELP: If you’re struggling, ask your parents to get you a tutor or find a tutor yourself. Also ask your teacher to help you, your teachers are there to support you and your learning. So don’t be afraid to ask for help.
BE CONSISTENT: This is one of the most important tips I have for you guys. You need to be consistent! It’s like learning a new instrument or a new language. You can’t just do it once a month and expect to be good at it. Set a schedule that works for you. And make sure you’re studying every single day even if it’s just 30 minutes.
CHALLENGE YOURSELF: You don’t want to be doing the same questions over and over again. Take harder questions from your text books and try to do them. Try to spend at least 30 minutes on each problem before you check out the solutions.
Remember this: Having a schedule helps make your learning easier. And if you continuously learn you’ll get better and better over time.
I hope this helps. Please remember that you have to do the work if you want to achieve anything in life.
Best of luck and focus in school 🏫
PS: Dear parents please screenshot today’s post and send it to your big children if you want 😊
Last week I attended a prayer event with some moms. We had a great time praying for our children.
During the refreshments I had a conversation with a lady who works with the police.
She said young black boys are overrepresented among those arrested and convicted for certain crimes ( mostly- robbery and drugs )
I asked her if she thinks parents are to be blamed for this.
No, it’s not all the parents’ fault, she replied
She used the analogy of two siblings who were raised by the same parents, one turns out well and the other one is always in trouble. So she said we can’t blame the parents when a child/teens make a wrong choice.
Through their actions, parents could actually shape and mold a child’s permanent personality, for better or worse. She concluded.
I don’t really agree with her completely, but I see her point. I still believe that there are no bad children/teens.
My Advice to teens that are following wrong crowds👇
If you’re a parent of a child/teen that’s already in trouble, please don’t blame yourself. And remember that your child’s regrettable decisions do not make you a bad parent. Even good parents have children who make poor choices. You can’t fix them but you can be there for them.
And you must never give up on your child even if they’re in trouble.
Remain firm and consistent in your rules and boundaries but equally consistent with your love and support.
Even in the toughest times, try to be their greatest cheerleader.
In addition , releasing your children to God’s care is a daily practice. God loves our children even more than we do. So pray with them daily!
This is the prayer I pray each day: “God, I release my children to Your loving care and tender mercies.” Ijn Amen 🙏🏾
I’m always happy when I meet parents that are involved in their children’s school life.
Parents can play a vital role in helping kids/teens succeed in school by being informed and offering support and guidance.
Even though teens are seeking independence, parental involvement is important for academic success.
Today I’m going to share 5 ways your big kids can start implementing daily that will guarantee their success in school and in future. S
So here we go (dear parents if you have a secondary school children please send this post to them 👇
Dear students,
If you want to have good grades in school then learn to master the skills of getting organized, stay focused, and see work through to the end in school.
Break down tasks into smaller chunks and stick to the studying calendar schedule so you’re not studying for multiple tests all in one night. Remember to take notes in class, organize them by subject, and review them at home.
Keep assignments and class information together in binders, notebooks, or folders that are organized by subject.
Create a calendar that will help you recognize upcoming deadlines and plan your time accordingly.
Planning is key!
Prioritize your daily to-do lists, and study and do homework in a bright, quiet, space.
You can remind your teen that when it comes to studying and homework, multitasking is a time-waster. Working in an environment free of distractions like TV and mobile phones works best.
Find a study buddy: If you’re studying for a test, get your siblings or a classmate to quiz you.
And remember that getting a good night’s sleep is smarter than cramming, especially if you have a test the next day.
Remember that you are the major keys to your future.
A lot of teenagers are getting mugged for their stuff and some are getting into trouble because they want to buy the latest trainers or scooters.
The media is not helping either. Our children are growing up today with more games and gadgets than what we ever saw when we were growing up.
So, it’s not our fault if we find it hard to show them that owning more stuff doesn’t mean that they’re more happy.
But that’s not an excuse to get them everything they asked for because this is not going to help them in the long run.
So how do we teach them that having lots of stuff doesn’t make them happy?
We show them by example, because as we all know children copy us.
So the question is, are you a materialistic person?
Dear parents, please let’s teach our children to stop being materialistic because material things don’t instill strong virtues like delayed gratification and empathy in them.
I know as a parent myself I want my children to have the things that I never had.
My son is amazingly frugal. This is in large part to my example. (😊)
He wasn’t like this when he was younger. But when he turns 14 all he ever wants is designer labels on everything from his t-shirts to trainers.
So when I noticed this I had to sit him down and put him straight.
I explained to him that things are just things and they come and go. And he shouldn’t treat stuff like God! And that he’s more than what he wears.
Now he is 19 years old and this young man is not attached to anything and he would freely give away whatever someone asked to have.
Ultimately, it is important for parents to teach their teenagers that what matters most is who they are, not what they own.
Value your teen’s character, dreams and talents, so that they can see their happiness is not determined by their possessions. Teach them to pursue the greater things in life.
My final thoughts 💭
Dear parents, let’s lead by example, your children will follow in your footsteps, repeating whatever you say or do. When you obsess about buying a new car or yet another piece of jewelry, this will lead them to think that these items determine one’s status in life. Show restraint and avoid making flashy purchases in your child’s presence.
Please don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of having stuff, too. And it’s Ok to have stuff; just don’t let stuff have you.
That is easier said than done—there is a fine line between possessions becoming servant or master.
I would like to encourage you to make a decision about talking to your children about the value of money and the difference between want and need.
Do you have a daughter that is between 9 and 12 years old?
Then today’s post is for you!
The other day after class, I asked one of my students if she knew what to do when she got her first period. She said no and she seemed not to have a clue about what I was saying. (She is 10)
So I explained what menstruation is and what to do when she sees her first period.
Dear parents, please let’s not wait till they are 9 before we have the talk. We should start early and talk to them and prepare your girls for their first period.
But just incase you’re not sure what to say, here are some tips on what to do ( I have also written a book about Period- it’s on Amazon, you can get one for your girl. Title: DEAR GIRL)
I know as parents it can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn’t have to be. Be open, honest, and be positive. Just talk to them, remember it’s a natural thing and it’s part of life.
As a mother you will be doing your daughter a great favor if you prepare them before it happens.
WHAT TO SAY
✅Let them know they are not going to be sick each month, let them know that having a period is not a disease, and that they are not losing lots of blood: (we shouldn’t compare our own periods history with that of our daughter, theirs may be different)
✅ Let them know that seeing their period is a way of their body preparing them for puberty.
✅ Tell them not to be scare that it’s normal for girls their age to have it.
✅Teach them how to look after themselves
✅Provide them with underwears, Panty liners and pads. Explain how there are several options for protecting her clothes when she gets her period—even some you haven’t tried yourself—and ask if she wants to go look at some together.
✅ Teach your daughter how to use a pad, when to change it, and basic hygiene.
✅Teach them how to make a pad out of toilet paper, if they saw their period in school and they have no pad in hand.
✅They need to know that they may not see their period the second month after the first period- that’s ok!
My final thoughts 👇
If you have a daughter that doesn’t want to talk to you about this, You can say, “I know it’s hard for you to talk about this, so just so you know, I got some supplies and they’re in the bathroom. I’d love to talk them over if you need, but feel free to go through it so you know what’s there.”
👉 If you’re still not sure how to talk to them, then I will suggest you ask them to read something before they use a pad or put a tampon in, whether it’s the package insert in the box or a guide in a book.
In addition, you can also get them a book about Period. I have written a book about this topic, it’s available on Amazon. You can get it for your daughter, it answered lots of questions on menstruation.
YOUR CHILDREN ARE NOT YOUR PROPERTY – You don’t own them!
Today’s post is not for everyone!
As parents we all want the best for our children. We want them to grow up to become confident and responsible adults.
But most of us think we owe our children. NO YOU DON’T OWN YOUR CHILD!
We get angry and disappointed when we ask them to do something and they say no.
We take things personally because we forget that our kids are individuals with their own thoughts and lives and that means they’re their own person.
And they shouldn’t be obliged to do everything you asked them.
The quicker we realize this the better it will help us in your parenting journey. You are not supposed to control them. You are supposed to love them and guide them and be a good role model.
Of course your child wants to please you and of course they want to do what you asked them to do. But sometimes because they are individuals who have their own minds they will refuse to be controlled sometimes.
Some of us still use the same approach with your teens. We talk and treat them like they’re a child. And you’re wondering why you often have power struggles with your teenagers.
And when our teens refuse to be controlled by us we will start wondering if something is wrong with them.
No, there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re just tired of being controlled by us! And that’s just the honest truth!
I went through this power struggle phase with my son when he turned into a teenager.
I’m sure you may be thinking about how I can get my child to cooperate with me, without having to shout or yell at them.
Stay tuned: because next week I will be sharing more practical ways to do this.
It’s becoming more common than we’d love to admit but many kids/teens are making wrong choices and behaving in very challenging ways.
So I get asked this question often by parents. –
What do I do when I get a call from my child’s school because he fights with his classmates?
So today I will be sharing my experience of what I did when I used to get those calls from my son’s school.
Trust me I know what you’re going through!
But always remember this, your child’s behavior is not who he is.
THEY ARE NOT THEIR MISTAKES!
If you receive a phone call that your child has been fighting at school or got into trouble at school you need to get the full story from your child.
It’s really important to find out the facts about what happened before jumping to any conclusions.
Your child obviously is already regretting that he did what he did, so be gentle with them.
When he gets home from school allow him to rest and then when both of you are calm.
You can then have a conversation with him.
Tell your child that fighting at school is not a good idea.
Tell them that Violence is never the answer.
Encourage your child to go to a teacher whenever she’s not happy about something.
Teach your child anger management skills if they are highly sensitive or easily provoked.
I use to be so mad at my son when I get calls about his behaviour in school and then I realise that it wants helping so I changed my approach
Here are some of the things I told him about himself.
You are a leader – So as a leader you do not fight and get into trouble. Leaders lead, they don’t copy or follow people around.
You have the power to control your action – When you’re angry about stuff, you need to use your power of self control and just stop and walk away.
You have a great future ahead of you and fighting or doing bad stuff will ruin your future.
Consequences – think before you act
Always do the right thing even when no one is watching
To be Kind
Then I made some positive affirmations poster for him and I stick it on his wall so that he can see it first thing in the morning when he wakes up and at night before he sleeps.
We also set goals because I realise that he was lacking motivations.
In one of my conversations with him, I realise that he was struggling with a particular subject in school and that’s why he intentionally gets into trouble so that he can be sent outside. So knowing this we made study plans and I also enrolled him with a private tutor to help him with the subjects.
So why not ask your child if he needs help with any subjects or better still ask his/her class teachers about this.
Please always attend your child’s parent’s evenings. Parents’ evenings is where you get to know what’s happening with your child’s studies.
Be involved in their learning and support them at home with their homework.
My Final thoughts 💭
Dear parents, please we need to realize that parenting is a daily thing, so please don’t wait till you get calls from school before you spend quality time with your children.
Dear parents, you’re raising kings and queens, so treat them as kings and queens 👸
Positive Parenting With Olu 