Positive Parenting With Olu

My advice to all the year six students starting year seven in September. 

Year 7 is going to be a little bit more challenging 

than primary school.  

So today I would like to give you some tips on what to expect in year 7 and how to navigate through it.

Try to be yourself and be kind to everyone. Be friendly to everyone because no one wants to be friends with a mean person.

There is going to be lots of drama, stay out of it and mind your business. 

1. HOMEWORK: There is going to be lots of homework! 

Try to get it done as soon as possible, then you can go and do something else. Do you want to do it without feeling stressed about getting it done

And make sure you put lots of effort into it, teachers will pick up on it if you put effort into it and they will likely give you higher grades. So I guess it’s a good habit of doing your homework or working, generally at home and not leaving things till the last minute.

Detention 

Getting detention does not define you, but it will give you a bad reputation in school.

Most secondary schools are quite strict. So be organized and try your best not to get detention. Be in school on time,  submit your homework before the deadline, wear the right uniform to school, and Don’t be rude to teachers or students in class. 

EXAMS: In year seven, you will sit an exam in a hall. So I would recommend you to revise every week beforehand and revise every night before your exam on each subject. Your teacher will provide you with some of the materials you need to revise, so try your best to study

EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES /CLUBS:

Try out as many clubs as you want. Also, this club is extremely important, because it will help you with making new friends.

OLDER STUDENTS:

Don’t disrespect all the students, because it will set a bad impression of yourself. 

And If you get lost in finding your way to your next class, don’t be afraid to ask older students or a teacher for directions. 

TEACHERS/LESSONS: 

No matter what the subject is whether you like it or you don’t like same goes for the teacher, you need to concentrate and work hard because this will give you a good impression to your teacher

Try your best to concentrate in class in every lesson because you are going to learn the basis of a load of topics that you are going to need in the future years.

My final advice would be to just have fun. This school year is just about you settling into a new environment and making friends.

Be aware that Year 7 is going to be challenging and that’s life for you.

But you will be fine. I’m rooting for you!

Writing by Kehinde (Year 9 students) 

I turn 55 in 21 days! 🙌🙌💃💃❤️❤️💕

Here are some important lessons I learned in my 5 decades of life (some of which I’m still learning day by day) 

#Lifelesson11

WORRYING OVER MY CHILDREN: 

I worry a lot about my children and I still worry sometimes but not that much because I know God is in control. If you’re old enough to have already raised your children to adulthood, most of you will testify like me that all the worry was for nothing because they all turned out okay. 

Sometimes kids have to go through something difficult and it’s okay it’s part of growing up. 

As parents, we would love them to do what we tell them to do because we have already been through it and we know what happened in the end.

But they have to learn for themselves

So my advice for anyone reading this today with children and worrying about them is to pray and trust God

I believe that God answers our prayers when we pray for our children and please Don’t stop praying for them.

Olu ❤️❤️

My children are all grown up, and I’d love to get over them. But I can’t…

They are my children.

I am learning not to speak the first thought that comes to mind. 😀

As I began to reflect on my own role as a parent of adult children, I realized that parenting adults is all about loving and accepting while letting go of giving advice – It’s all about accepting their choices and supporting them. 

Roles are definitely reversing. They are their own boss Now! 

Here are a few suggestions to think about:

1. They are finding their own way with friendships, relationships, and work. I realize that now, but it took me a long time. 

2. This is a time of great practical and emotional stress for them too. Listening to them is important, as is reflecting on what they say and also giving them space.
3. Try Not to Label or Judge: Everyone judges -as in, all the time. I’m learning to keep my opinion to myself whenever I visit them at their respective homes. When it comes to how they live their lives or do things in their home. After all, it’s their house. 
4. Verbally engage as little as possible (hmm this is a tough one 😆) 

My final thoughts: 

Being a parent of adult children is not easy or simple. It takes a strong person with a gentle mind to create an atmosphere in which everyone feels respected and loved.

We never stop being parents, but we do need to give them space. 

It is so painful for us to do that, but it is only natural as they grow up.

What do you think? What have your experiences been with being a parent to adult children?

Olu

Happy Parenting 

So much of who children become depends on the models provided by their parents (and other loved ones) during the earliest years of life. 

The language they use. 

The ways they treat others. 

The ways they manage challenges and stress.  

All of this and more is being internalized by your children. 

And they are watching like hawks. 

Your child’s goal is to be just like you. 

It’s a big responsibility. But it’s so rewarding. 

They are watching and listening all the time. 

So be very careful what you say and do as the whole world might learn about it later 😀 

Happy Parenting ❤️

One of the best things about being a parent is getting to watch your children grow up. (That’s the phase I am in at the moment and I am loving it 😁)

I believe God sent our children with a divine purpose to help us be a better parent.

And I think our job as parents is to care for them and guide them in the right way that they should go.

Also, each child is a precious gift from God and God use them to be

God uses them to teach us to be more patient, more caring and to take time to slow down…

I am still learning these daily with my youngest son.  I find myself still learning to be more patient and just accept him as he is and love him as he is. I am beginning to realize why God chose me to be his mom. 

He is showing me how to be the better parent that he deserves everyday.

He challenges me to grow and reminds me of life’s simple joys that I take for granted. 

His outlook on life is so simple. He believes that everything happens for a reason so he is always calm when things don’t go as he planned. Rather than react to situations he stays calm most times, which is admirable. Unlike me, I’m the opposite. But I’m getting better now and I’m still working on this 😀

I’m learning a lot about my son every day. He is 21 and he doesn’t need anything from me other than guidance and respect and FOOD 🤣

He is in this stage now that he takes everything I say personally so I am more mindful of what I say.

I’m learning to be more patient, listen more and be more positive in my response. 😀  (Our word is powerful o)

I also noticed that anytime I encourage him and focus on the good things he is doing, the more he opens up to me. 

I’m forever grateful to God for what God has poured into his life, his leadership skills, his honesty, his compassion for people – and the fact that he still gives me hugs 😆

So my darling parent; 

You have been chosen to be your child’s parents for a reason, to grow alongside them, and learn with them.

Children are so much wiser than we give them credit for.

Remember that What We Do Today with our Children Matter…

If we want to reap Good fruits in the future, We must try to sow Good seeds Now!

So let’s try to do well today so that we can reap well tomorrow! 

Also please remember that when your little one is expressing themselves at home by being playful no matter their age, allow them. They do this because you are their safe place and they trust you. 😊

I pray that God continues to give us wisdom and knowledge to give and pass down to them.

Please let’s continue to pray for all children, especially our TEENS!

• PRAYER FOR YOUR CHILDREN👇 (say your child’s name in the blank ) 

Heavenly father…

Bless ———— and keep him/her; may your face shine on him. Turn your face forward  ——— and give him peace.

Fulfill your purpose in ———. Give her a rich fulfilling life. 

Wherever ———— goes, be his secure dwelling place. Place your everlasting arms around and underneath him. Ijn Amen 🙏

MOTHERS AND FATHERS, PLEASE DON’T STOP PRAYING FOR YOUR CHILDREN! 

May God answer our prayers Amen 🙏❤️

#goodnews

#childrenareblessings #positiveparentingwitholu

A great way to get your child engage in creative writing is by using a picture of a prompt

First,  choose a picture based on your child’s interest. 

It could be a picture from their book or a scene from their favourite movie or anything.

Then ask them what they can see and encourage them to think beyond the picture. 

Ask them to create their own story based on this picture.

This is a fun and easy activity to do over the summer break to help your child keep up with their writing. 

You can use some of the images on the slide if you want. 

Have a wonderful summer guys 

As adults, we share our feelings and thoughts with the person we are comfortable with. Also when we know there’s someone who can patiently listen, we open up easily.

It’s the same with the kids. Initially, because children begin learning from home, they express even the little things to their parents and once they start going to school, they might express even to their friends.

So when children are loved and given the freedom to express themselves, they grow up to give the same manner of love given to them.

. 

You see, parenting is a work that goes beyond just you and your child. It is an investment in the life of your immediate family which may end up affecting whole other individuals and different generations

So when your child expresses anything, listen patiently and don’t be aggressive.

Be a good listener, and then ask questions that will help them process what they may be trying to figure out.

Praise them for what they do right, let them know we all mess up and they can always come to you and talk about anything, and apologize when you overreact. 

In conclusion, as an adult, what makes you comfortable confiding in someone? 

They listen, and you trust them.

It’s the same with children/teens. They just want their mum/dad to LISTEN!  And sometimes they don’t want advice, they just want a listening ear. 

May God help us all in our parenting journey ❤️❤️

Ms Olu ❤️

#beintentional. #happyparenting

—————-

What do you do if your teenagers are making new friends and you’re not sure if that’s the kind of crowd they should be hanging out with?

The first thing you have to realize is that you can’t pick your child’s friends. And if you criticize their friends, you will see them react very strongly because they like their friends.

I remember when my son used to always go out with some groups of friends that I know are making wrong choices and getting in trouble.

I didn’t know what to do until I realized that if I don’t put an end to it now this may affect his future.

 So today I’m going to share with you what I did.

• The first thing I did was to point out to him how his behaviour and how he speaks changes whenever he goes out with this particular friend. So I told him to stop going out with them.

• The second thing I did was to enrol him in Saturday tutoring classes so that he would have something to do that would keep him out of the streets and also help him get better at school. Which helps him a great deal. 

So dear parents, If you think your children’s friends are exposing them to dangerous things like smoking, drinking alcohol or participating in wrong things in school or outside school.

I will suggest you be more upfront with this and put an end to it immediately before its too late!

HOW TO PROTECT YOUR TEENS FROM THE WRONG CROWD

1. Keep them away from the wrong friends! (Yes! stop them from seeing these friends – it is that simple) 
2. Keep them engaged in School and if they are struggling in school, get them and enroll with the Tutor to help them get better grades.
3. Get help from a school counsellor if they are finding secondary school hard.
4. Encourage healthy relationships by talking to them about what a good friend looks like. (A good friend will not make them do something bad etc…)

HERE ARE SOME OF THE RED FLAGS FOR PARENTS TO WATCH OUT FOR IN TERMS OF WHO OUR CHILDREN ARE HANGING OUT WITH

When your teenagers tell you that they are going to see their friends, you must always verify where they are and what they are up to when they are with their friends.

And if you can’t verify their whereabouts by calling them or their friends’ parents, that would be a red flag!

If your teenagers are deceiving you why they are with the same people regularly then you need to do something about it.

I would also suggest that you need to trust your child however you also need to verify what they are telling you! 

My final thought is that as one parent to another, parenting teens is hard but with lots of effort in our path and more patience we will get it right. 

And I also think instilling good morals in them when they are younger will help them to watch out for wrong influences when they become a teenager. 

 And like we all know children learn best by watching us. So let’s try to be good role models to them 😊

Happy Parenting ❤️

May God help us all in our parenting journey. 

There are lots of ways we can teach children Right or Wrong and SMACKING is not one of them! 

First of all, let me start by saying we can’t smack a child and expect them to care about others.

Parents often asked me:

“Ms Olu, if I Don’t smack my kids, how is he going to learn right from wrong?

My answer to them is you teach a child right from wrong by TALKING to them.

And by watching how you parent them.

What do I mean? 

Let’s say my son hit his brother.

I don’t have to punish him to show him right from wrong.

WHAT I WILL DO IS:

I will talk to him and say “Tolu what’s going on, I know you know not to hit your brother so something must have been happening. Let’s talk about why you did that and then we can then talk about what you can do instead of hitting your brother next time. 

Kids also learn not to hit by watching you. Hopefully, we are modelling how to regulate our emotions. 

THE IDEA THAT WE HAVE TO PUNISH A KID TO TEACH THEM RIGHT FROM WRONG IS  AN IDEA THAT HAS BEEN PASSED TO US THROUGH GENERATIONS.

And I beg you from one parent to another to be a CYCLE BREAKER PARENTS!

Because there are lots of ways to teach kids right from wrong and punishment isn’t one of them.

Other ways to discipline kids effectively include using time-outs, loss of privileges, modeling appropriate behaviour (like self-control), and helping kids understand the connection between actions and consequences

WHEN WE KNOW BETTER WE MUST DO BETTER!

May God help us all in our parenting journey Amen 🙏❤️

Olu 😘❤️

Today’s post is to encourage parents who are caring for younger children. 

If you have been following me you will know that I have four young adult children between ages 35 and 20.

When my kids were little I used to worry a lot about their future.

 Especially my youngest because he seems not to be interested in school or anything for that matter other than playing games.

 Today he is 20 and he has found what he wants to do. 

He is doing well in his chosen field and is very happy and hardworking. I was only worrying for nothing! 

 Please let’s focus more on the good things our children do. 

Praise them when they are good and say positive things to them often.  Remember that your 10-year-old or your nine-year-old is not gonna stay like that forever and your teenagers are not gonna be like this forever.

Whatever you think they are now it’s not what they’re gonna be in future they’re gonna be great men and women of God. 

They’re gonna be the CEO of a company, a leader of an organization an App creator, an inventors, a leader or president of a country, someone’s husband or someone’s wife.

They are not gonna stay like this forever so I’m asking you Parents if you have a nine year and he’s not listening to you if you tell him to do something a hundred times, please I’m not saying you shouldn’t be strict but let’s think about our feelings because our response matters in how we deal with our children. Let’s stop taking their behaviour personally because it’s not about us. Remember they are kids and we are adults. 

Let’s try to show them empathy and stay calm whenever they misbehave. Because things will not work when we react to everything they do. And we are not teaching them anything when we do that. 

When we start seeing and treating our 9-year-olds as a CEO of a big company and a future leader we will start to see changes in how they behave towards us.

Think of them as future leaders and say kind positive words about them. 

I know this is hard especially if you have more than one child, but I know we can do this. It takes a lot of practice to stay calm amid a storm 😀

Talk to God about it, and ask for wisdom and knowledge on how to look after your precious little ones after all we are only their caretaker. 

Speak positive words to them rather than negative words. 

I believe when we change how we treat and act around our kids they too will change. 

Your children will turn out well in the future, but you need to be more loving and support them in whatever they are doing. 

Just thought I should share this today ni 🙏❤️

Sending you so much love ❤️

Olu