Positive Parenting With Olu

Do you understand how your child is learning to read? 

Hello parents, if you have a child in reception class  and year 1 (4-7 years old) or if you have a  child that is still struggling to read a book, then today’s post is for you. 

When your child is learning to read, there are two most important things they learn.

1. They’re taught that sounds are represented by written letters.
2. And how to blend sounds to make words. 

Children in reception (kindergarten) are taught to read letters or groups of letters by saying the sounds they represent. So they are taught that the letter ‘a’ sounded out as /a/ (as in ant), not /ay/ (as in day) when we say it. 

Children who read a lot are more likely to be successful in school than children who don’t 

So,  how can I help my child with reading?

1. Get your kids books that are at the right level, and if school books seem too difficult for sounding out and blending, talk to the teacher.
2. Help your child practise phonics at home.
3. Ask your child’s teacher on how to help them at home. Schools should provide information sessions on how they teach phonics. It’s important that you say the sound correctly when helping your children.
4. Keep practicing with your child until they get it.
5. Read to your child as much as you can. Keep reading lots of books and information books with your children. Reread their favourite stories over and over again. Children’s vocabulary, imaginations and knowledge of the world grows through you reading and talking with them. 

Most importantly your child will learn faster with encouragement, praise and hugs. 

If you need books that can help you get started then  

Click on the links below to get our phonics books to help your children. https://www.amazon.co.uk/FEN-HAS-RED-BOOK-READ/dp/B0BCCW6SN5/ref=mp_s_a_1_27?crid=1JSGRLPBLGDID&keywords=olufunke+akinniyi&pscroll=1&qid=1664251342&sprefix=%2Caps%2C44&sr=8-27&wIndexMainSlot=20#

Happy Tuesday beautiful people ❤️❤️❤️

Every Tuesdays I share some quick tips on Positive Parenting techniques on this Platform and my other social media pages. 

Please note-  I’m not a perfect parent, my adult children can testify to that 😁

I share my experiences and what I have learnt about parenting because I care and just in case someone needs it. 

Besides, I do get lots of positive feedbacks from parents, so I know I must be helping them in their parenting journey. 😁

So today I’m going to share a little bit about parenting a teenager. 

So here we go 👇

First of all, let me start by telling you that as a parent of an 18 year old, it can be hard knowing what he wants and needs at any particular giving time. 

Like many teenagers, my son’s mood was all over the place during sixth form.

 Sometimes he is great and cheerful and sometimes moody and quiet. 

There are times he will snap at me and I will feel like I want to slap him but I’m an adult so I keep cool because I understand he doesn’t mean it, I blame it on his hormones 😁

Because in the very next minutes or so he would come to my room and just lay down next to me and we will talk about stuff and laugh and laugh about some silly jokes. 

As a mom I felt the pressure of making the most of the time I had left with my son under my roof. ❤️

Here is what your teens need from you during those challenging years.

BELIEVE IN THEM ALWAYS: 

If we can’t believe in our kids, who will? We must instill this belief until they believe in themselves. Being a safe space for teens means never giving up on them, NO MATTER WHAT!

We start by modeling it in our life, by believing in OURSELVES as parents. We can’t give away what we don’t have. When they see us pursue our passions confidently and continue to press forward when life knocks us down, we create a safe space by default. 

Our children need our loving voice in their ears, letting them know they have what it takes within. We teach them to trust their internal GPS and go through life with their heart wide open.

DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY 

It’s tricky not to take your teen’s behavior personally, but the reality is, our teen’s behavior isn’t about us. The less we personalize it, the better.

DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION 

Every little thing we comment on, nitpick, or get frustrated over often comes across like we expect flawless behavior. The fastest way to curb this issue on both sides is to let go of our expectations and lists of shoulds. About everything.

If you want your teen to trust you, you have to let the small stuff go and pick and choose your battles.

My final thoughts, if you’re a parent of teenager like me, I would like you to know that all they really need is love, and knowing that they have someone that got their back at home is a very big deal for them, because they’re are in a lot of pressure from friends, schools, peers and the society. Be kind to them.

Of course you need to be firm and set boundaries, however you can also be kind in your approach. Don’t take things personally.

Are you looking for more resources regarding how to talk with your teen? Then check out our parenting book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/PARENTING-JOURNEY-PRACTICAL-GUIDE-ADULTHOOD/dp/B09L4X46K3/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?crid=6QSX6Q44K2GN&keywords=olufunke+akinniyi&qid=1663645681&sprefix=%2Caps%2C40&sr=8-6

Thanks for reading through and have an amazing day today.

The things that parents say to their kids can either encourage and give them confidence, or lower their self-esteem and hold them back in life.

So how do we avoid doing the latter?

I’m sure most of you know that my youngest is 20 years old. Our relationship has evolved, we are like buddies now. He often comes to me for advice and most of the time he doesn’t really need my advice, he just needs someone to talk to. 😆

So, everytime he comes to me for advice, I will always think deeply about what to say and make sure I did not say something negative about his ideas. 

I’m sure if you’re raising yourng adults or teenagers you can relate 😆

So just in case you’re raising a teenage, here is some advice I give to my son daily. 

1. Do your best and be kind and treat everyone how you want to be treated. .
2. If something doesn’t work out, don’t be sad. It may turn out to be a good thing later on.
3. I love you. – I tell my son this often, I say things like – I love you. I trust you. I believe in you. I will support whatever you want to do. I will always be here for you.
4. I can’t do everything for you. – you’re an adult now you have to try and figure things out yourself. 

My final thoughts 

Always ask about their day and just listen if they want to talk. Only give them advice when they ask for it. Remember they are not a child anymore, they’re adults now, so treat them like one. 

Sometimes even if I didn’t think something was a good idea, I always supported him, because I know adulting is all about resilience. We keep going. We fail, we try and try again, we fail, we try and try and try.

I hope this helps 🥰❤️

What are some advice you’ve given your teenagers lately? 👇👇👇

This is an appeal to all parents. I am not happy with the way some schools are treating our kids. Some of them are quick to judge our kids. 

My son just finished his SIXTH FORM and he also witnessed this ill treatment. 

I know when children are in primary and secondary schools, the school tries their best to support lower ability children, however it’s a different story from my experience and others that when a teenager has a bad grade in Sixth Form, they’re on their own, 

Not sure if this was true, but a parent told me a teacher told her that, they know that her son’s grade can never improve and they know he can’t achieve the expected grade so they will advise him to repeat the same class!!  

(THIS TYPE OF WORDS SHOULDN’T BE SAID BY ANYONE TO A CHILD LET ALONE AN EDUCATOR) 

Wow !!!!!!! (They have broken this boy’s self-esteem) 

He is only 17

So anyway, what can you do as a parent to help your children achieve good grades in school and achieve academic success? 

You can do one of these two things 👇

1. Support and teach them at home yourself, – Make time for them everyday after school to help them with their homework. even if it’s only an hour daily. Talk to their teachers often and ask about their targets and what they’re struggling with. Ask for text books you can buy to support them with. Try your best to stick with the routines. I can’t stress this enough. You get what you put in and your kids will thank you for it.
2. The second thing you can do is get them a good tutor. A tutor that has the subject knowledge and they teach in a different and fun way which makes the kids to assimilate all they’ve learnt quickly. 

I am a tutor and we recently just moved to a bigger centre. I help and teach primary school children. I also prepare children for 11 plus exams. My results speak for themselves. Ask my parents. And we also have a secondary school teacher that teaches Maths, English and Science KS3 –  KS4 students.

 Trust me when I say this, this teacher knows what she is doing. I have seen her previous students’ GCSEs results and at her present school she is helping and supporting lower abilities students in her clases achieve good grades. 

Send me a DM today and sign up your children. 

It’s affordable and you need to do this for your children guys.

Enough is said for the wise. 

You don’t have to use me, but please get help for your children don’t wait till they asked them to repeat a class in SIXTHFORM before you do something 

Please guys 🙏🏾

For students to pass any test or exams they must be prepared, study and give in their best. It’s as simple as that.

So dear parent, if you know you want your child to sit for the 11 plus exams one day, you need to start preparing them for it when they’re in year 3, so they will get used to it and not be overwhelmed.

I know a lot of parents that prepare their kids at home themselves, and you can do that too if you have the time. 

However, if you don’t have time, there’s nothing wrong in enrolling your children in a tuition centre or get them a one-one private tutor. 

Also, I will advise you to get a tutor that knows what she is doing, has the subject knowledge and has had great success in the past. 

At Brighterbee learning Centre, we identify a child’s weaknesses and take proactive steps to strengthen them. We go over their learning problems, and choose the right books, guiding revision, or more generally re-teaching topics that have already been covered in class.

For students to pass any test or exams they must be prepared, study and give in your best. That’s why we are here to support you at Brighterbee

We offer the best tuition, to take your child from average to excellence. Parent don’t wait till the last minute to sign up your child, especially for those that have exams. Get in touch now. Send a DM or call us today.

WHAT WE DO👇

We can help with:

• Reading and homework help
• KS1/KS2
• KS3/KS4
• SATs Exams
• 11 plus Exams 
• GCSE

WHAT WE OFFER

: We provide tuition from 4 years to 16 years 

: One to one tuition

: Group tuition

: Variety of subjects for all ages

: Affordable

For more information call: 07984047117 or Send us a DM today

#privatetuition

OLU

Teens often don’t understand what’s going on with their body, minds and emotions.

What we all  really want in life as a human being, is for someone to hear us and see us. 

And we don’t want people to judge us, we want to be celebrated and to be accepted as we are.

And dear parents,  that is exactly what our kids need too, especially teenagers.We can support them and encourage them.

If you’re raising a teenager your job is to guide and be there for them. They will make mistakes, it’s ok that’s how they will learn. I’m sure as an adult yourself you have made plenty of mistakes and you’re still ok. 

What I’m trying to say is that our teenagers are going through a lot already and we as their parents need to be the support system they need.

They need your hugs, your listening ears, and trust me they need you more than you know. 

This message is for me too, I have to keep reminding myself that my son is an adult now and it’s hard. Sometimes I just want to wrap my hand around him and not let him go, but I can’t do that now o, because he is his own person and he is now a man.

And all I can do now is to guide, listen  and give advice or suggestions, however he already knows what he wants to do. 

Our kids NEED one place they can count on for safety and peace. And this is how we do that.

May God help us all 🙏🏾

Can you relate? 👇

6 Ways To Deal With School Work (for secondary school students especially year 7 students) 

Summer holiday is over now, and most school starts soon.

I wanted to share a few of my tips with you guys on how to deal with homework and school work in general, and getting back into a routine:

1. Go to sleep early – I know it may be hard to get back to the routine of going to bed early because during summer you sleep as late as you want to, and not having to worry about early starts the next day.

You may find it really hard to adjust from that routine when you started school, as you were so used to it. But, I think it’s a really good place to start getting into the routine for school, and to ensure that you won’t be tired at school.

2. Focus in class – Really this sounds so simple, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in all my years in school, is that by focusing and working hard in class, you’re really just helping yourself. By listening and doing what you’re meant to in class, you usually end up with less homework, or you find the homework easier to complete. And, when it comes to a summative assessment you are way more prepared because you have understood everything along the way, and don’t need to do a last-minute cram session.
3. Utilize your time – This tip is really big for me, as I do like to make sure my schedule is completely full, and I take on as much as I can. So for others, this would result in them not having time to do everything. But, I have come up with a system for utilizing every single second of my time during the day. Whatever you do to utilize your time, it’s a really good idea to finish tasks throughout the day, whenever you find that you have time.
4. Make lists – This is so helpful for me. Wow. I always find that I have a never-ending list of things I need to do, and I like to keep a list on my desk, as well as on my phone, of the things I need to do next. There must be some scientific reason as to why lists are so effective, but for me, it just un-jumbles everything in my brain and gives me a step to step guide of what I’m doing next. I would really recommend this for any student.
5. Go Running – This has really helped me get into my school routine again. Of course, it’s partly because I love running, but also because running gives me discipline.

6. Attend classes, make sure you’re not late and ask for help when you need it!

So that’s some of the ways you can have the best year in secondary school

Best of luck guys, you’ve got this and I am rooting for you.

Ms Olu

One of the coolest things about raising teenagers is the intelligent conversations you get to have with them. Suddenly they have a profound opinion about EVERYTHING! 

Raising teenagers has its shares of challenges, but if we take a moment to soak up all the good moments you have with them, because talking from experience the positives outweighs the negative for sure. 

My advice would be, if you want to connect with your teens, you need to do it on their terms 😊

Sometimes our teens aren’t interested in our advice or solutions. All they really need is a listening heart and a little empathy. So let them vent, let them get it off their chest.

LET THEM KNOW YOU ARE THERE 🥰❤️

They need you more than you know. Being a teenager today is hard – Be there for them.

They need your attention, hugs, encouragement, and your unconditional love 

You make them feel better, 

You make them feel stronger 

You make them feel loved

Do you have a teenager? How do you connect with them? Please share your thoughts below 👇

Thanks and have a great day

See you next time

OLU

Today’s post is not for everyone o, so be warned. 

And you don’t have to agree with me on the things I’m about to share.  😄

Peer influence is when you choose to do something you wouldn’t otherwise do, because you want to feel accepted and valued by your friends.

If you want your teenager to say NO to sex, smoking, and other potentially risky behaviour, they need to know they can say NO to you first!

Most parents have trouble accepting NO from their children. In some culture it’s a taboo for a child to say NO to their parents 😄 

However, if we can lose our ego and allow them to express themselves freely by saying no to us sometimes, then they will be able to say no others too.

My son is allowed to say no to me without me getting upset about it. I allowed this because I want him to know that he doesn’t have to agree with me about everything, and that he’s free to say no if he wants, but within reason o 😆.

And I won’t take it personally at all. (It was hard at first, being an African mom, but I soon realise that by allowing him to express himself freely with me means that I’m giving him power and confidence to be himself with others, and not to be a pushover or a people pleaser.

You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth.

My son is 19 now, and when we go out to important events, I see how he interacts with people and he speaks his mind. I’m so proud of him for that.

Kids aren’t going to just magically have any skill. We must allow them to practice these skills with us first.

As an adult yourself, picture the adults you like to hang out with and the characters that they had. Those are the skills you need to instill in your children when they’re little.

Because we are not really raising a child, we are raising an adult. (They grow up so fast)

Here are some skills you can teach your kids: Setting boundaries, negotiating, standing up for themselves, saying no and others. Then model and encourage those skills.

Start early and you will be glad you did 😊

I’m starting to see the fruits of my labour in unexpected and delightful ways. It wasn’t easy but it’s worth it.

I would like to hear from you in the comments below… How do you react when your tweens or  teens say no to you? 

When we know better we must do better 🙏🏾❤️

Happy parenting 🥰❤️❤️

@msolu

Today’s post is not for everyone o, so be warned. 

And you don’t have to agree with me on the things I’m about to share.  😄

Peer influence is when you choose to do something you wouldn’t otherwise do, because you want to feel accepted and valued by your friends. 

If you want your teenage to say NO to sex, smoking, and other potentially risky behaviour, they need to know they can say NO to you first! 

Most parents have trouble accepting NO from their children. In some culture it’s a taboo for a child to say NO to their parents 😄 

However, if we can lose our ego and allow them to express themselves freely by saying no sometimes to us. if they can say no to you without an argument, then they will be able to say no to others too.

My son is allowed to say no to me without me getting upset about it. I allowed this because I want him to know that he doesn’t have to agree with me about everything,  he is free to say no if he wants, but within reason o 😆.

 And I won’t take it personally at all. (It was hard at first, being an African mom, but I realise that by allowing him to express himself freely with me I’m giving him power and confidence to be himself with others, and not to be a pushover or a people pleaser  

You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth.

My son is 18 now, and when we go out to important events, I see how he interacts with people and he speaks his mind. I’m so proud of him for that. 

Kids aren’t going to just magically have any skills we don’t let them practice. 

As an adult yourself, picture the adults you like to hang out with and the characters that they had. Those are the skills you need to instill in your children when they’re little. 

Because we are not really raising a child, we are raising an adult. (They grow up so fast)

Skills like; setting boundaries, negotiating, standing up for themselves, saying no and others. Then model and encourage those skills. 

Start early and you will be glad you did 😊

I’m starting to see the fruits of my labour in unexpected and delightful ways. It wasn’t easy but it’s worth it. 

I would like to hear from you in the comments below… How do you react when your tweens or  teens say no to you? 

When we know better we must do better 🙏🏾❤️

Happy parenting 🥰❤️❤️