Positive Parenting With Olu

THE GOOD DINOSAUR 🦕 (A story about courage and Family)

Every child is different and unique. I’m sure you already know this if you have more than one child. Please let’s not compare them to each other. Love them as they are!

Last week I watched an animated movie about dinosaurs with my son. – The Good Dinosaur 🦖.

The story is about the 2 Adults Dinosaurs and their 3 little babies.

The youngest baby was born with some kind of physical deformity. He was also very small in stature.

You see, because this little dinosaur was born with numbly knees, he finds it really hard to run as fast as his siblings.

However his dad was very supportive of him. He takes him out with him every day to play with him and teaches him life skills. He teaches him lots of skills and how to look after himself.

Initially he struggled with this but eventually he became stronger because he persevered. This is what being resilient looks like. 

So why I’m I sharing this story with you?

Here is why…

Sometimes as parents, we sometimes judge our children based on their appearance and how they look. (Consciously or unconsciously) 

We say things like, ‘Adam was born that way, so he can’t do this or that’ …

In the film the little dinosaur just needed his dad to believe in him and he was able to believe in himself too. 

In the film Arlo (the little dinosaur) shows courage and he later realizes that fear is normal and it’s ok to be afraid sometimes but just don’t give in and face your fears anyway no matter what.

And it shouldn’t get in the way of living your life; you can get through anything if you don’t give up. Because the only way to see the beauty on the other side is by persevering.

So dear parents, let’s try to encourage our children to believe themselves more and they may surprise you.

All I’m trying to say is that our children are capable of a lot of things. All they need is someone to believe in them and give them chances.

I hope this helps 🥰❤️

Happy parenting guys 🥰🥰❤️❤️

When we know better we must do better 🥰🥰❤️

Olu 🥰❤️ 

#positiveparentingwitholu #beintentional #kidsareawesome

Are you an adult and do you want to learn new skills this new year? 

We are starting new computer classes for adults at our centre  every Tuesday. 

It’s free for everyone. 

If you’re looking for a way to improve your computer skills, then join us every Tuesdays at our centre.

Do not say I didn’t tell you.  – If you’re ready to improve your computer skills this new year, come and join us! IT IS FREE

What you will learn in this free computer course :

1. Basic computer skills: 
2. Keyboarding skills: Typing 
3. Using Web Browser: Learn how to use major browsers like Chrome, Firefox, Edge, or Safari and can switch between them. 
4. Working with Microsoft soft office
5. Learn how to use computer’s built -in-help functions 
6. How to type/write a simple letter and send it via Email to friends or employees 
7. Learn how to upload and download files on your computer. 
8. Learn what a pdf is and how to use it
9. Learn how to convert a word doc to a pdf
10. Undo your mistakes (learn how to use your computer’s undo feature to revert back to the most recent changes
11. How to search and apply for jobs
12. How to create a job CV 
13. Applying for jobs and filling applications online 
14. How to start your computer on a safe mode, so it’s only using the essential program needed to run.

And many more …

Leave a comment below if you’re interested and I will get beck to you ASAP

Let’s make 2024 our year of greatness

Olu

Happy Tuesday to all my amazing parents.

Every Tuesday I love sharing positive parenting tips with you guys on this platform and on my blog to help you with your parenting journey.

I have been doing this for more than 4 years now. 

Most of what I share is from my own experience as a mother and as someone that works with children. 

I believe we all need help sometimes especially when we are raising children in a foreign country.

I am a mother to 4 young adults and a grandma to two beautiful girls.❤️💛❤️

 Our Children are our future so I believe we must be intentional about how we raise them. 

Please I would like you to know that I don’t have all the answers, but I do know one thing or two about parenting.

So if you’re a parent and you really want me to give you some important advice that might help you in your parenting journey then today’s post is for you! 

My first advice to you would be to Stop your need to CONTROL your children.

They are individuals not robots! 

All our children really need from us parents is someone who is able to regulate their own emotions, love them for who they’re and someone that is able to guide them in the right direction. (Remember you’re the captain)

So here are some more positive parenting advices for you 👇  

•  Stop taking everything PERSONAL!! – For example when your child says No to some of your requests, please don’t take it personally. They’re just trying to let you know they have a say about stuff too! (this was a big one for me)
• When they offend you, please forgive them straight away (don’t keep malice with them) 
• Connect before you correct (especially if you’re raising teenagers) 
• Separate their behavior from them (e.g – let say they misbehave, deal with the behavior and let it go, stop nagging them)
• Please stop reacting to everything your children do. 
• Be a stable parent who is always there for them no matter what happens.  
• Tell them what your expectations are (they can’t read your mind 😃) 
• Let them know they can count on you even when they misbehave. 
• Make your home a safe haven 
• Show them that you love them in your actions. Remember – action speaks louder than words 
• Be present!  (Spend quality time with them)
• Treat your boy child and your girl child  the same way. (Your boy child should be doing house chores too)
• Treat your child with respect and kindness. 
• LISTEN TO THEM! (Allow them to express themselves freely without judgment)
• Do not hit your children: kids learn from you, hitting teaches them to handle conflict with aggression. 

In addition, I believe that when we instill good values into our children from a young age, it stays with them even when they grow older.

I know sometimes most teenagers test boundaries, however even if they run with a bad crowd they’ll come back and do the right things eventually. I know this for sure. 

Most times you may not see how lovely your kids are until they are in the midst of other people and they tell you how respectful and kind they are.

All I’m saying is that your children are going to be fine. 

Also please pray with them regularly. 

LEAD BY EXAMPLE 

If you want your children to be kind, you also need to be kind to them and others. – Remember they’re always watching.

In life we get what we put out! (It’s the Law) 

With this in mind, please dear parents, let’s try to pay attention to how we treat others, especially in the presence of our children – because they are always watching. 

Happy parenting ❤️

WHEN WE KNOW BETTER WE MUST DO BETTER!!!

Become a graphic designer.

Are you over 25 years of age and over? 

Are you looking for a side hustle? 

If so, I am looking for 3 young people that want to learn new skills this new year for free. 

I will be running a free graphic design course and computer training course every Tuesday morning at 11am for an hour. It’s a 2 month course. 

At the end of the program, you will be able to:

• Create logos, 
• Social media graphics, 
• Flyers
• YouTube banners
• Thumbnails 
• Business cards
• Web designs 
• Creating Ebook
• Creating and self publishing your own children’s book 
• and other marketing materials. 

Learning about graphic design can make you more marketable in many industries. Many job roles require basic design skills, and having a basic understanding of design principles can make you stand out in the job market.

Brighterbee learning Centre

Send us a PM today if you’re interested

I just came back from a one week trip to Manchester. Lots of great things happened. I love Manchester. We visited many places and I love their food and the malls.

But what I love most about my trip to Manchester was spending time with my granddaughters Theodora (20 mth old)  and Athena (5 years) 

The first 2 nights were really great, I loved every bit of our time together.

But on the 3rd day all I wanted was to rest, sometimes I wonder how young parents cope with looking after their children day in and day out.

Don’t get me wrong I love them but it’s so exhausting after spending a whole day with both of them.

Anyway, let’s get to the point of today’s post. 

No two children are the same. Every unique part of them makes them who they are.

My older granddaughter is a very calm and highly sensitive child, while the youngest is very active. She can sleep through loud noises. Theo loves to play, she loves jumping on the bed and climbing things. She loves anything to do with throwing. She is also very independent, she knows her way around an iPad. She plays games on iPad independently and she can say a full sentence and she’s only 20 months old as the time I’m writing this blog (31/12/23)

My oldest granddaughter Athena is a calm collected girl. She’s very sensible about things.

One day her mum told me how she checked the writing on a sweet pack of its suitable for her little sister to eat 😃.

Her teacher onces told her mom that she’s a very smart girl and that she uses big vocabulary to explain stuff to her in class. Athena’s school reports are filled with good grades and full of praise from her teachers. I think she’s a nerd. 

I love both of them equally because they are both unique and special in their own way.

I love that they look out for each other. Of course they do fight like all sisters do, but they love each other. 

I love it when I catch Theo hugging and touching Nina’s hair (that’s what she calls her sister) 

Just wanted to share how my trip went with you guys 😃❤️❤️

Wishing you guys a wonderful and happy New year!

May 2024 be a better year for you and your family.

Make 2024 a year that you will spend more time with your loved ones, remember to create more memories in the new year! 

I have also decided to travel more in the new year, I will visit new places alone (God help me with this one) 

Do you want to do something special for yourself and you have been putting it off?

DO IT NOW!

PLAN THAT TRIP – WRITE THAT BOOK – START THAT BUSINESS 

Happy New Year guys 

Love from Olu.

Dear parents, goal setting are important in life because they give us a sense of direction and purpose. When we have goals, we have something to work towards and this can help us stay motivated and focused, even when things get tough.

This is why helping your children /teens set and achieve goals can help set them up with great habits for life.

Here are some tips on how I helped my son set achievable goals each school year❤️

1. Break Big Goals into Little Goals

Let’s say your child wants to learn how to read. That is a really big goal, but on its own is quite daunting. So, break that Big Goal into smaller, bite-sized goals. If you use your child’s school phonics curriculum, for example, your child’s goal could be to complete one lesson a week. (If your child is in reception or year1 you should have some sort of phonics curriculum, if not  ask your child’s teacher for one) 

Using this method would allow them to make steady progress toward their Big Goal—learning to read—while celebrating successes along the way. (And they would start reading and blending three-letter words in Week 9!)

You can also send me a DM if you need help with this, we can help!

2. Ensure Goals are Realistic

It’s also important to help children keep goals specific to things they have control over. For example, a goal of getting 100% on every test is not realistic. That depends on the test, how the teacher is marking, the child’s understanding of the content, and a million other things. 

BUT… they do have control over how much they study. A better, more attainable goal would be to review notes every night for 30 minutes, or to study for a certain amount of time before each test.

3. Keep Goals Short-Term

This one is especially true for the little ones. For your youngest, you should focus on a small, attainable goal that he can accomplish in about a week. For example, to do up the laces on his own shoes. 

4. Build on Goals (Or Switch it Up!)

If your child’s goal is accomplished in one week, then… What’s next? Build on that goal! So, if your little one’s goal was to tie his shoelaces, perhaps their next goal could be to learn how to zip and button a pair of jeans. Or maybe their next goal will be to learn to clean her own dishes! 

Kids’ interests change like the wind, so it only makes sense that their goals will too.

5. Celebrate Success!

When your child achieves a goal. Please tell your child how proud you are of them, and let them tell you how proud they are of themselves. Share their achievements with friends and family.

6. Share your own goals with them.       Children copy what they see. Lead by example. If your children hear you talking about your goals and celebrating your successes, they will want to as well.

My son is 19 years old now and I am so happy that he still set goals for himself. And we do celebrate his achievements and accomplishments together. I’m so proud of the man he is becoming.

Remember a goal without a plan is just a dream. So make an action plan on how to achieve each goals you set with your kids.

I hope this helps 🙏🏾🥰🥰

Happy parenting 🥰❤️❤️

Olu ❤️❤️❤️

WHEN WE KNOW BETTER AS PARENTS WE MUST DO BETTER –

Teenagers get a lot of bad press. Some of it is true some of the time but we think that, actually, teenagers are pretty awesome. Here’s why…

When they’re really into something, they are REALLY into it. They read about it, research it, debate it and get you thinking and talking about the causes closest to their hearts.

Whether it’s to eradicate Alcoholism or to stop hunger in Africa.

My 19 year old son once told that he is going to make a YouTube video about Alcoholism in the future! He doesn’t understand why people think drinking is normal and if he tells people that he doesn’t drink alcohol they think something must be wrong with him!

He knows alcohol is poison, so he doesn’t get it why someone would want to poison themselves.

He wants to be 100 percent all the time. Alcohol is depressing and poison. He has seen what alcohol can do to people and he doesn’t want that for himself.

He went ahead and said his body is a temple and why would he ruin his body with alcohol. He said he has a bright future ahead of him and he doesn’t want any poison to ruin his potential.

Teenagers have a very strong moral compass, that is not yet weaker by cynicism of the disappointments life can throw at you.

So when they care about something they really care, and they can make you care too.

I know – teenagers can be moody, they can be self-centred, they can give you attitude that pushes all of your buttons but these traits don’t define them. We all know toddlers have tantrums but we don’t think that that is ALL they are. In fact, when you think back to the toddler years you remember your child as super cute, brilliantly funny and utterly gorgeous. Even if they did embarrass you by having a major meltdown in the shop.

Similarly teenagers shouldn’t be reduced to the negative stereotypes that make up a tiny fraction of their beings.

They’re awesome. Make sure you let them know it.

Have a great day today guys ❤️❤️

Happy parenting 😊❤️

Happy holidays guys, My name is Olu, I’m a mother of 4 young adults and a grandmother to 2 beautiful angels. Every Tuesday I share positive parenting tips here on this platform and on my blog to help and support any parents like me. Because let’s face it, parenting is hard work, but it’s a very rewarding job as well. Most of what I shared are from my experience as a mother and as an educator. I also share because I care.

So today, I’m going to talk about a Boy Child, how we can support them at home and as a society if we want them to be all that God created them to be.

I am a mother of 3 boys/men and I also have brothers, nephews and male cousins.

So today’s topic is very important to me because of a lot of things that are happening to our boys/men.

I have also decided to make it my mission to talk and educate and support our boys in every way I can.

I think society has let our boys down by allowing them to just be and not educating them on how to behave and act. We assume that they are strong by nature so we didn’t think it’s necessary to talk, or teach them how to be a man, like we do with our girls. Why do we do this? 

I don’t think we should be silent anymore. We see a global crisis facing the boy child, and now is the time to pay attention to it. 

As a result of this, I think we must begin to focus our attention on the boy child; he needs to be protected from the negative sway of society. There is an urgent need to focus on the home and the schools to nurture the boy child. Parents need to create an environment in their homes where boys can freely express their thoughts, feelings, fears, and ideas. It is then we can know and discern what is going on with them and guide them right.

I remembered when I was growing up, I had 3 brothers and I can’t remember them being at home at all. It’s always me and my sisters who took care of the house.

Even now in some homes where there are  boys and girls children. Most boys are left to just be, and the parents only focus on the girls. They talk to the girls, hard on the girls and give them chores to do, while the boys are just there playing games all day. This is wrong and I think we need to change the narratives. 

So what can we do to make sure our boys turn out well in the future.

I think the best way to do this would be to start from when they are little.

Dear parents please let’s start including your boys in the chores and give them responsibilities at home. Talk to them about stuff, allow them to express themselves and listen to them.

Allow them to show emotions and let’s stop assuming they’re ok or they don’t need us. They do need us!

If as a parent we can try to change our perspective of how we treat and how we see our boy child, and pay more attention to them like we do our girls, I think with time there will be a turnaround.

Boys’ lives matter too! 

There is more to say on this matter so stay tuned …

To be continued …..

No matter what the things your teen says, the way you respond to disrespect is important because the type of discipline you use influences how likely it is for the behavior to continue.

So for example; let’s say you say something to your teenager and she talks back to you. And you decided that you’re not going to take that from her! So you shouted back at her and said something like;  “Who do you think you’re talking to, give me your phone and go to your room right now!!!

The question I want you to ask yourself is; – ‘Did your teens learn any lesson after that’? 

Of course not. 

You may think they did, because they stopped being rude to you.  

Let me tell you, the only reason they stopped being rude to you is because of what’s at stake. 😊

They may not be rude to you at home but I’m sure they are  rude at school and outside because they don’t know how to control their emotions. 

So really they haven’t learned anything from your reaction. 

However, what if I told you that there are better ways to get your teens to stop being rude or talking back to you and shouting out. 

It’s called self regulation. Self-regulation is the ability to remain calm, cope with big emotions, and respond appropriately to situations.

A lot of time our teens don’t know how to regulate their emotions because no one shows them how.

I remembered the first time my son spoke to me rudely. I was in shock, and I couldn’t believe it. 

I shouted at him and told him to go to his room. I was so mad that I was going to take away everything from him. My ego was crushed  😃 

I later sat down with him when we were both calm and explained that he didn’t have to like what I had decided and that it was okay to be angry with me, but it was not okay to show that kind of behavior. 

Though the experience was painful, I made sure not to get pulled into a power struggle with him over it.

My goal is to raise my son to be able to function in the real world and go on to be responsible adults who can live on his own.

So I tried my best to be conscious about my intentions and my daily interactions with him and try to lead by example.  

Dear parents, we need to remember that every interaction we have with our children/teenagers is indirectly teaching them.  

What you say to them is very important. And how you say things to them also matters. It’s all about your tone! 

 So here are FIVE things to help you handle disrespect:

1. Don’t take it personal. I know this is a hard one, but try not to take what your teens are saying or doing personally. This behavior really is all about them trying to make a point, and not about you.
2. Stay calm and don’t react (I know it’s easier said than done, but remember we are the adult here, so we need to be able to control ourselves) 
3. Avoid power struggles! Your job is to parent your child and teach him to behave differently. 
4. Be a Teacher and a Coach: It’s your job to teach your teens to behave more respectfully and manage frustration better. 
5. Lead by example. (remember kids learn by watching adults) 

My final thought 

Being a parent is a daily job. If we want things to be different, we just have to do some work.

You are not alone!

Ask God for guidance and maybe join a good parenting community if you need help. Remember we are all in this together. ❤️❤️

Please remember there is no perfect parent anywhere.

May God help us all in our parenting journey 🥰❤️

Happy parenting 

#beintentional #positiveparentingwitholu #childrenaregiftsfromgod #allkidsaregood #teenagelife #momslife

Dear young people, You’ve got so much raw talent that’s within you. Utilize it and make your money! Don’t allow your gifts to go to waste.

You don’t have to just sit back and watch other celebrities come up, get focused and get yours, too! Grind and make your dreams a reality.

Put in the hard work. Be dedicated to yourself. Create an online presence and put yourself out there where people from all over the world can witness your talents. There are so many platforms online that will help propel you to where you want to be. Get busy!

You know that you’ve got something special! Why not allow the world to see it? Don’t be afraid of success!

Stop talking about it and be about it. Don’t doubt yourself!

Just go for it! GO HARD.

#beonstopable #believeinyourself