Please, before you make the decision to relocate your teenager back home to Nigeria because you feel you can’t cope with them — pause for a moment, take a deep breath, and read this. ❤️
I know that raising teenagers abroad, especially here in the UK, can be challenging. Many parents often say, “These kids are too hard to manage,” or “Children abroad don’t listen.” But I beg to differ — that hasn’t been my reality.
My son is now 21, and looking back, I can say with gratitude that our journey wasn’t always easy, but it was worth every bit of patience and understanding.
Parenting Teens Abroad
— A Different Kind of Challenge
Let’s be honest, parenting teenagers anywhere in the world isn’t simple. But when you’re raising children in a completely different culture from where you were raised, the challenge feels bigger.
In Nigeria, we grew up in a culture of “Do as I say, not as I do.” Respect was demanded, not earned. You didn’t question adults, and discipline often came before discussion. But here in the UK, things are different. Teenagers are encouraged to express themselves, question things, and make independent choices — and as parents, that can feel uncomfortable.
I had to learn to unlearn.
I realized that if I tried to raise my son the same way I was raised back home, we would clash constantly. Instead, I had to adapt — to listen more, to understand his world, and to meet him halfway.
What Helped Me
- Communication is everything.
I made sure we talked — even when he didn’t feel like talking. I’d wait for the right moment, maybe while driving or watching a show together. I learned that conversations don’t always have to be formal. - Pick your battles.
Not everything needs an argument. Sometimes, it’s better to let go of small things and focus on the big picture — their wellbeing, values, and emotional growth. - Be willing to adapt.
The parenting style that worked for our parents in Nigeria doesn’t always work here. The environment is different, the culture is different, and our children are growing up in a completely new world. - Love them loudly.
Teenagers may act like they don’t care, but they still need love, reassurance, and patience. Your calm voice can sometimes do more than your anger ever will.
Final Thoughts
Before you decide to send your teen back home, please pause and reflect. Ask yourself — is this decision coming from frustration, or is it truly what’s best for them? Sometimes, all they need is your patience and understanding.
Yes, raising teenagers abroad can be tough, but it’s not impossible. When we adapt, stay open, and show love in a way they understand, we’ll see that they can thrive right where they are.
I’m not saying it’s easy — but I promise you, it’s possible. 💛
— Olu
Positive Parenting With Olu 