As a parent of four young adults, I have been there.
When our children turn into teenagers, they go through changes in their body and brains.
And this affects how they behave and if as a parent you are not aware of this, you will have a lot of power struggles. That’s when most teenagers runs away from home, or stay out a lot from there they started following bad crowds. Because home has become so hot that they would rather be outside.
I’ve come to realise that most teenagers’ anger is not the problem, it is the symptom.
And mostly what they really say is for every outburst is the question they can’t ask.
Sometimes they’re not sure why they’re angry.
What your teenager is really saying is …
Mum, can you hold me together when I fall apart?
Because underneath that anger is fear, shame, pressure that they can’t handle
And if you match their anger, they lose respect for you!
And if you back down, they’ll lose trust in you
So what do you do?
- You don’t control their anger!
- You control your tone!
- You stay calm.
- You stay present
- And you stay unshaken!.
Dear parents, your teenager’s anger is not your enemy. It’s an opportunity to prove to them that you’re still a safe place.
To also show them what emotional strengths are.
And to teach them that big feelings don’t have to create a big problem.
I have learnt to stay calm when my son is angry because I know better now. And trust me most of the time he comes back to his senses and then tells me why he was angry and then apologizes.
So the next time your teenager is angry remember their anger is not the problem – it’s the symptom!
It’s a cry for help!
So stay calm and work it out with them calmly.
May God help with our parenting.
I hope this helps.
Positive Parenting With Olu 