No matter what the things your teen says, the way you respond to disrespect is important because the type of discipline you use influences how likely it is for the behavior to continue.
So for example; let’s say you say something to your teenager and she talks back to you. And you decided that you’re not going to take that from her! So you shouted back at her and said something like; “Who do you think you’re talking to, give me your phone and go to your room right now!!!
The question I want you to ask yourself is; – ‘Did your teens learn any lesson after that’?
Of course not.
You may think they did, because they stopped being rude to you.
Let me tell you, the only reason they stopped being rude to you is because of what’s at stake. 😊
They may not be rude to you at home but I’m sure they are rude at school and outside because they don’t know how to control their emotions.
So really they haven’t learned anything from your reaction.
However, what if I told you that there are better ways to get your teens to stop being rude or talking back to you and shouting out.
It’s called self regulation. Self-regulation is the ability to remain calm, cope with big emotions, and respond appropriately to situations.
A lot of time our teens don’t know how to regulate their emotions because no one shows them how.
I remembered the first time my son spoke to me rudely. I was in shock, and I couldn’t believe it.
I shouted at him and told him to go to his room. I was so mad that I was going to take away everything from him. My ego was crushed 😃
I later sat down with him when we were both calm and explained that he didn’t have to like what I had decided and that it was okay to be angry with me, but it was not okay to show that kind of behavior.
Though the experience was painful, I made sure not to get pulled into a power struggle with him over it.
My goal is to raise my son to be able to function in the real world and go on to be responsible adults who can live on his own.
So I tried my best to be conscious about my intentions and my daily interactions with him and try to lead by example.
Dear parents, we need to remember that every interaction we have with our children/teenagers is indirectly teaching them.
What you say to them is very important. And how you say things to them also matters. It’s all about your tone!
So here are FIVE things to help you handle disrespect:
- Don’t take it personal. I know this is a hard one, but try not to take what your teens are saying or doing personally. This behavior really is all about them trying to make a point, and not about you.
- Stay calm and don’t react (I know it’s easier said than done, but remember we are the adult here, so we need to be able to control ourselves)
- Avoid power struggles! Your job is to parent your child and teach him to behave differently.
- Be a Teacher and a Coach: It’s your job to teach your teens to behave more respectfully and manage frustration better.
- Lead by example. (remember kids learn by watching adults)
My final thought
Being a parent is a daily job. If we want things to be different, we just have to do some work.
You are not alone!
Ask God for guidance and maybe join a good parenting community if you need help. Remember we are all in this together. ❤️❤️
Please remember there is no perfect parent anywhere.
May God help us all in our parenting journey 🥰❤️
Happy parenting
#beintentional #positiveparentingwitholu #childrenaregiftsfromgod #allkidsaregood #teenagelife #momslife
Positive Parenting With Olu 