Last week I wrote about saying no to yelling and smacking kids.
I also explain this method is not the best way of discpling children because we are indirectly teaching them that it’s ok to yell and hit other people when they’re upset or don’t get their way.
Because remember children are copycats. (They copy what adult do)
But the alternative teaches kids how to regulate their emotions so today let’s talk about the other method of positive discipline called positive discipline
I know some of us are not ready for this yet and it’s OK
However, today’s post is for parents that would like to try a different approach of disciplining their children.
Before I start explaining how positive discipline works, let’s define what positive parenting means.
What is Positive Discipline?
Positive Discipline is a method where parents clearly communicate what behaviors are appropriate, which ones are inappropriate, and what the rewards for good behavior and the consequences for bad behavior are.
So, how does this play at our home?
So let’s say you went shopping with your 4 year old and he asked for something from the shop and you said no and he started throwing tantrums. He then sat on the floor and started screaming his head off.
As a mom that cares about her child, the first thing you want to do is to give in and let him have the thing he wanted.
And also maybe because you don’t want to deal with the screaming and the crying and you’re embarrassed because lots of people are watching you.
Please stop at that moment and think about what you just did. You just gave in and your son now knows that when he wants something all he needs to do is to cry.
And when he turns 5 and he still does that’s the same you started saying that he doesn’t listen and then you yell or smack him.
Please remember children always test you and they will keep testing you until you put your foot down. They know how to play you, especially those of us that still worry about what people say.
This is what I did when my son was little and he would cry non stop in the shop because he wanted something. I will allow him to cry and when he’s calm (which will take like 5-10 seconds) I will then explain to him again that crying will not make me but the thing, but I will think about it for next shopping if he behaves himself. And most times he listens because I stick to my words.
👉Would it be easier to just smack him so that he can stop throwing tantrums?
Absolutely yes!
👉But is that the healthiest way to build up your relationship and keep communication strong
Absolutely Not!
Remember that parenting is about modeling, you are teaching your child that it is okay to hit when angry.
Of course sometimes I’m driven mad at my son’s behavior, but since I don’t believe in hitting children, I have to find new ways to discipline him.
My son is not spoiled because I don’t hit him.
Children need structure and boundaries in order to become productive members of the society
And our job as a parent is to help make that happen.
The most effective way for kids to listen to you, is to always follow through with what you said you will do every time they did something wrong.
SOME QUESTIONS FOR YOU THINK ABOUT!
- Why are you finding it difficult to stop hitting your kids?
- Why do you beat your child?
- Is it because you are tired and you lose your cool?
- Is it because you don’t know the alternative
- Or is it because that’s all you know
The parenting I choose to live by reminds me to keep working and keep building up my relationship with my children at all times and to remember that everything I do shows my compassion and my love for them on a daily basis.
Join me and Say No to hitting children.
Thanks for reading
Olu ❤️
Positive Parenting With Olu 