Ms Olu, when should I allow my daughter to have a phone and a social media account? All her friends are on snap chat and Instagram, and she feels like she is missing out. We have talked about buying her a phone during summer break before she goes to secondary school. She is 11 years old and a very responsible girl.
I get messages like this all the time!
Let me start by saying that I’m not a cyber expert. However, having worked with children and teens for over a decade, technology is a topic that I can’t avoid. It’s a part of all of our worlds. And it has come to stay whether we like it or not.
In today’s post I want to address some cyber safety basics that I recommend for all families who have teens who are keen to get their own social accounts.
The right age to give kids their first mobile phone is really up to you. Age isn’t as important as your kid’s maturity level, ability to follow rules at home and school.
It’s up to you to decide if your child is ready for a mobile phone or not.
In addition, It is so easy to say “yes” to Instagram, TikTok or SnapChat when our children are tweens, but in a few more years you may wish that your “yes” came with a lot more conditions that are now hard to implement.
So, I want you to take a moment now to stop and think.
The issue of monitoring your daughter online is a serious one, especially in the primary and secondary school years.
Too often children receive their first mobile phone with little or no guidance leaving them exposed to an adult world.
Here are some tips you can think on before you decide:
- TALK TO THEM ABOUT THE RISK!
We can’t stop the risks, but we can reduce them. Pornography, sexting, body image, cyberbullying are just some of the issues that have the potential to trip our daughters up, regardless of their age. We should never expect our daughters to be the first person to bring up these issues. We have to be the ones who are brave enough to start the conversation.
A tween or teenager’s online life comes with a range of new risks, some which parents understand and some which parents don’t understand and that is why as parents we need to keep educating ourselves.
Within seconds young people can be interacting with unsafe people or content without their parents knowing.
- Keep tabs—but don’t spy
Some parents, especially when their tweens and teens are new to social media, choose to follow their accounts. Whatever you do, don’t spy on them secretly. It really hurts trust. If something goes wrong, they’re not going to come to you for help.
So, the bottom line is that please don’t be naive.
Educate yourself and stay in the game. This is one area of your child’s life where you need to be the parent.
And please install safety software on their devices regardless of whether they have their own device or use a family one.
- Don’t let anyone rush you to give your child a smartphone at a young age. If your child gets a mobile phone at 14, he’ll catch up really fast.
When we know better we must do better!
Thanks for reading through and have blessed day 🥰❤️❤️
Olu ❤️
Positive Parenting With Olu 