As a parent of a teenager and young adults children, I have come to realise that being a parent is hard but it’s also very rewarding and beautiful.
You get to witness great things your adult children become and they are now almost like friends to you and this is when you start to enjoy all your labour 😊❤️🙏
My last baby will be 20 in a few days and I know I have limited time to spend with him before he leaves home and do his own thing. So, I’m determined to make every day count.
As a mom, I felt the pressure of making the most of the time I had left with my son.
Here are somethings things I learnt along the way and I want to share with you.
7 things I learnt from Raising Teenagers
1. BELIEVE IN THEM ALWAYS:
If we can’t believe in our kids, who will? We must instill this belief until they believe in themselves. Being a safe space for teens means never giving up on them, NO MATTER WHAT!
We start by modeling it in our life, by believing in OURSELVES as parents. We can’t give away what we don’t have. When they see us pursue our passions confidently and continue to press forward when life knocks us down, we create a safe space by default.
Our children need our loving voice in their ears, letting them know they have what it takes within. We teach them to trust their internal GPS and go through life with their heart wide open.
2. DON’T TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY
It’s tricky not to take your teen’s behavior personally, but the reality is, our teen’s behavior isn’t about us. The less we personalize it, the better.
3. DON’T EXPECT PERFECTION
Every little thing we comment on, or get frustrated over often comes across like we expect flawless behavior. The fastest way to curb this issue on both sides is to let go of our expectations and lists of shoulds. About everything.
If you want your child/teen to trust you, you have to let the small stuff go and pick and choose your battles.
4. RESPECT THEIR OPINION: Respect your teen’s opinions even when you don’t agree with them. Show interest in learning more about what has shaped their ideas and why they have certain beliefs. Teens often just want to know that someone is listening to them. LISTEN TO THEM! (Allow them to express themselves freely without judgment)
5: FOCUS ON THE GOOD
If we keep reminding our children about what they’re doing wrong, they’ll keep doing the wrong things.
I’m not saying we should ignore their behaviour. What I’m saying is that we should pay more attention to what they’re doing right rather than what they’re doing wrong.
Because whatever we pay attention to expands.
6. STOP THE NEED TO CONTROL EVERYTHING THEY DO.
Stop your need to CONTROL your children.
They are individuals not robots!
All our children need from us parents is someone who can regulate their own emotions, and can guide them in the right direction.
7. Separate their behavior from them (e.g – let say they misbehave, deal with the behavior and let it go, stop nagging them)
- Please stop reacting to everything your children do.
All our children want is for us to treat them like they are the most important person in our lives. If we do this genuinely you will see significant changes in them.
Happy parenting 😊❤️
Have an amazing day today guys
Olu 🥰❤️
Positive Parenting With Olu 