Today’s post is not for everyone o, so be warned.
And you don’t have to agree with me on the things I’m about to share. 😄
Peer influence is when you choose to do something you wouldn’t otherwise do, because you want to feel accepted and valued by your friends.
If you want your teenager to say NO to sex, smoking, and other potentially risky behaviour, they need to know they can say NO to you first!
Most parents have trouble accepting NO from their children. In some culture it’s a taboo for a child to say NO to their parents 😄
However, if we can lose our ego and allow them to express themselves freely by saying no to us sometimes, then they will be able to say no others too.
My son is allowed to say no to me without me getting upset about it. I allowed this because I want him to know that he doesn’t have to agree with me about everything, and that he’s free to say no if he wants, but within reason o 😆.
And I won’t take it personally at all. (It was hard at first, being an African mom, but I soon realise that by allowing him to express himself freely with me means that I’m giving him power and confidence to be himself with others, and not to be a pushover or a people pleaser.
You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth.
My son is 19 now, and when we go out to important events, I see how he interacts with people and he speaks his mind. I’m so proud of him for that.
Kids aren’t going to just magically have any skill. We must allow them to practice these skills with us first.
As an adult yourself, picture the adults you like to hang out with and the characters that they had. Those are the skills you need to instill in your children when they’re little.
Because we are not really raising a child, we are raising an adult. (They grow up so fast)
Here are some skills you can teach your kids: Setting boundaries, negotiating, standing up for themselves, saying no and others. Then model and encourage those skills.
Start early and you will be glad you did 😊
I’m starting to see the fruits of my labour in unexpected and delightful ways. It wasn’t easy but it’s worth it.
I would like to hear from you in the comments below… How do you react when your tweens or teens say no to you?
When we know better we must do better 🙏🏾❤️
Happy parenting 🥰❤️❤️
@msolu
Positive Parenting With Olu 