The other day, my son was eating crisps and he wanted to go into my room. Crumbs came out of his mouth as he took every bite.
I told him not to go into my room with the crisps. I kept telling him he can’t come into my room when eating. I said it one more time when he was at my door. He ignored it and entered my room with crisps in his hands and crumbs on my rug.
I was angry. I exploded and yelled, “Didn’t you hear that I asked you not to come in with crisps?”
He looked at me, turned around, and left my room.
So what is the lesson?
That yelling and only yelling works with kids who don’t listen, right?
Wrong.
He didn’t listen to me because he couldn’t listen to me. I was not in front of him, making eye contact and ensuring he was paying attention to what I said.
Instead, I just sat at my desk and shouted my command, while he was fully immersed in tasting the yummy crisps.
He simply couldn’t pay any attention to me until he entered the room and saw me
.However, from my perspective, I thought he heard everything I said but ignored me. I thought he was purposely disrespecting me and my request. So I was angry. My emotions took over. Instead of looking into why he acted that way, I yelled at him.
I was being disrespectful to him.
I was shouting to him from another room not caring whether I was interrupting what he was doing or not. And when he didn’t meet my expectations, I acted rudely toward him. I showed him that I only cared about my own needs. I showed him that when you were frustrated, you could be rude and disrespectful.
That was definitely the wrong message.
I was not a good role model in having empathy, respect, and self-control.
To teach respect, first, we need to stay calm and stay in control. Identify if this is a real “disrespect” situation, a misunderstanding, or simply because the child hasn’t learned the proper response in such a situation.
STAY CALM AND DON’T OVERREACT WHEN YOU THINK YOUR CHILD IS BEING DISRESPECTFUL.
To be continued next week 🥰❤️❤️
Please I would like to know how you show respect to your kids 👇
Have a lovely day today 🥰❤️❤️
Positive Parenting With Olu 