Every Tuesday day I share some great tips on Positive Parenting on this Platform ❤️❤️
As a mom of four, I understand how hard it is to stay calm and stay steady when we interact with our kids, especially when they are talking back or refuse to do their chores. It can be very easy to lose our cool. 😆
When we believe our children are being difficult, we tend to use yelling to make them listen to us.
But yelling can only go so far before it starts to form cracks in the relationship with our kids and leave them with emotional scars that might never go away.
At some point, we need to ask ourselves: Is my child’s obedience worth losing their love and respect
Today I will be sharing one of the strategies I have learnt and that I use every time, whenever I feel like yelling at my son.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always a good day at home with my son, if you’re a mum especially if you have a teenager you will agree with me that most days are challenging.
But I always remember one thing: every time there is a challenge at home, I have 2 choices : either to respond or to react.
I tried most of the time to respond in calming or just leave the room and come back when both of us are calm.
So here are some simple strategies to think about when your children misbehave and you felt like yelling at them👇👇👇.
Stop yourself first and …pause before responding in anger
1. STOP AND WALK AWAY – Yes, this may be tricky at first, but with lots of practice you will get used to it. Maybe go into your room to calm down ( always remember to pause before responding in anger) Allow yourself to calm down so you can think clearly. When we take a minute to think, we will get a clear picture of why our children are behaving in a certain way. It could be that they need you to connect with them more and so on.
2. DON’T REACT
If you’re a “react-er,” it may take time for this to become more natural. That’s ok. As you go through your day, look for times to respond rather than react. If you slip-up and react, give yourself permission to try it again. It’s not a sign of weakness to say, “Wait, what I meant to say was…” Let your children know that you are not perfect either!
3. KEEP THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE
Most of the times when our children misbehave, it’s usually based on their developmental stages. It’s not personal, so stop taking it personal.
The reasons why we feel frustrated by their behaviour is because of our expectations, not because of the behaviour itself.
So be realistic, kids will be kids
Keeping a right perspective may look like not assigning adult meaning to a childhood behaviour .
Avoid getting angry when your child does something based on function, like dropping a cup of water on the sitting room carpet and ruining your rug, or screaming at their siblings.
We need to take a step back and look at our expectations and ask ourselves these questions 👇
👉Are we asking our child to do something that it’s not developmentally appropriate
👉 Are we asking them to do something you haven’t even taught them yet?
Remember children are the product of their environment, they follow your example, they learn when you teach, and they grow out of it.
Dear parents, as we strive to have strong positive relationships with our children, it’s important to remember to Respond rather than React.
Responding can feel ineffective, passive or too permissive at first.
In the long-run, however, the payoff is great.
My final thoughts
Sometimes it’s going to be easy to respond rather than react. Other times, it’s going to be more challenging…especially if you’re feeling tired, stressed, overwhelmed, worried, frustrated, etc. If it’s one of those days, remember to breathe. Give yourself that split-second to decide if you are going to react or respond. (If it’s really one of those days…take two deep breaths!)
So does really Yelling work?
No, it doesn’t
Please let me know what you think in the comments below 👇👇
Have a wonderful day ♥️♥️
#beintentional
#noyelling
#parenting
#londonmoms
#monsofteenagers
#positiveparentingwitholu
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Positive Parenting With Olu 