HOW TO DEAL WITH PEER PRESSURE

Most children generally tend to copy their friends, however raising children in a foreign land is a total challenge on its own, especially raising a teenage son.

(I’m going to write an article soon about the difference between raising children in Nigeria and London.) 

Peer pressure works because children want to be liked by others and they want to be included. They may give in to pressure because of the fear of being made fun of or rejected. Sometimes they just don’t know how to deal with the situation, so we do what others tell us to do.

Here is a scenario of how a young boy got into trouble because he was trying to please his friends. 

Now!” whispered Tunde. “Quick, while the shopkeeper is not looking.”

Heart pounding, Daniel, leaned against the store’s unattended drinks display and slid two cans of coke into his backpack. He looked bored and detached as he followed his  friends Tunde and Ola out of the store, but inside he felt panicked.

“I can’t believe you made me do that,” Tunde wailed.

“Relax,” said Daniel. “Everybody does it sometimes. And we didn’t make you do it.”

He said nothing, but Tunde knew he wouldn’t have done that on his  own. He’d just had a big dose of peer pressure.

————-

I started having a serious talk about peer pressure with my teenage son, after one of my friend’s sons was jailed for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Kids are very smart, so I started our conversation with a question,

Here are some of the questions I asked him;

What would you do if your friends dare you to do something stupid like, taking something in the shoul without paying?

My son said it has actually happened to him before, and he went on to tell me about it and what he did. 

I was very proud of him because he did the right thing and he did not get involved with the situation. 

If you have a child or a teenager that are prone to doing what their friends ask them to do, here are some suggestions and ways to encourage them 

You can start by saying; 

❗️Sometimes your friends may ask you to do things that you’re not comfortable with. 

❗️And Sometimes it seems like everyone else is doing something so you might do it to feel “normal.

❗️Your friends may challenge you to do something – good or bad. 

❗️They might not ask you to do anything, but you may feel you have to do something because your friends are doing it.

🔷Here are some things you can share with your child on how to deal with peer pressure; 👇

✅Think about your choices – What would happen if you do it? What if you don’t?

✅Follow your instincts (If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t right for you.)

✅ Be assertive 

✅Say what you think

✅Talk about what you feel

✅Say No

✅If you’re still being pressured, walk away

✅Stay away from those who pressure you or make you feel bad about yourself

✅Hang out with people whose choices make you feel more comfortable

👉Is all peer pressure bad?

Not all peer pressure is bad. It can be positive. Your child’s peers may push them to do well in school, eat healthier, or participate in school activities such as sports or clubs. 

My final thoughts,

I think, It’s normal to worry that your child is being influenced too much by his peers, or that he’s selling out on his values (or yours) to fit in with his friends. It’s also normal to worry that your child won’t be able to say no if he gets pressure to try risky things, like not staying in school or drinking. 

But listening to the same music and dressing in the same way as friends doesn’t necessarily add up to your child then doing antisocial or risky things.

And if your child is happy with who she is and her choices and values, she’s less likely to be influenced by other people. She might choose to do some things that her friends do, but not others. And your influence is important here – it’s the biggest factor shaping your child’s values and long-term choices.

Let your kids know they can talk to you if they are pressured to do things they don’t like. 

Do you agree that raising kids in a foreign land is a bit different from raising kids in Nigeria? 

I would like to here your thoughts on this 👇