HOW TO TEACH A CHILD TO BEHAVE WELL

Today I’m going to talk about one of the main reasons why children misbehave.

Children misbehave because they don’t know how to behave appropriately.

When a child doesn’t know how to behave properly then misbehaving is not the right word to use here!

Most of us know so much about the brain that it takes a lot of time and lots of experience for all those neurons (information messengers in our brain) to work together causing synapses (connecting information from one neuron to another)  to grow that strong and then make a child to develop empathy, language skills, creativity and problem-solving skills. 

NOTE 🎯Loving interaction with caring adults strongly stimulates a child’s brain. (If you want to learn more about how children’s brains work, buy this book – THE WHOLE BRAIN-CHILD by – DR DANIEL J. SEIGEL

When we understand this, it will make more sense, and we will stop expecting a child to do something that is developmentally inappropriate for them. 

For example, expecting your two-year-old to sit at a table with you in a restaurant for over 2 hours without getting impatient or bored. 

Another thing I would like to say is that you can’t expect your child to know how to behave if you haven’t deliberately taught or shown them how to behave, especially in a scenario that they’ve never experienced before. 

 If you really think about this, it’s not really them misbehaving, it’s more like they don’t really know how to behave. 

I would like to point this out though, if you have a 3 – 4-year-old who likes to touch things when they are out with you, you shouldn’t yell at or punish them because touching is their way of exploring things, which is an expected behaviour.

So what can you do? 

The first thing you need to do as a parent is to teach them by example!! You need to model the behaviour you want to see in your children. 

• Set some reasonable house rules (tailored it to your own family), 
• Set clear boundaries,
• Have consequences for failing to follow house rules, 
• Always follow through, be consistent!

Here are 2 common scenarios for everyday life 

Example1: 

Let’s say your 2-year-old child is throwing her toy around, simply take the toy away and explain to her calmly that toys are to be played with and not thrown around, and remind them of the house rules if they persist. 

Example 2: If you have a child who loves interrupting you during a conversation on the phone with someone else. 

After your conversation, you need to take your child aside and say something like, “this is really important, I need you to always wait till I’m through with my discussion whenever I am speaking on the phone and I promise to give you my full attention after the call. 

Of course children will always test the boundary, so here is when you follow up on the house rules and consequences, but remember to give them a warning first♥️

TIPS ON HOW TO TEACH KIDS TO BE WELL BEHAVED IN PUBLIC. 

1. To be polite to people/ Good manners, teach them how to greet and introduce themselves to others by making eye contact and teach them how to be a good conversationalist.
2. Communication, encourage conversation in your house, ask them about their day, and listen 🎧, you can also encourage them to ask you about your day or prompt them by saying, “why don’t you ask me how my day was?”. It’s very important to talk to our kids)
3. Playdates, teach them how to behave when they are on playdates, what to say and what not to say. Ask them what they would say to the host after the playdate, if they’re not sure, teach them what to say
4. Talk to them about how to behave when they meet new members of their family or a family friend (teach them how to show respect and what to do when they are asked questions, and so on, you get the gist)
5. Talk to them about who they are allowed to go to for help and why, (especially asking for money) . This is very important, but every house is different. As for my family, my son knows he’s only allowed to go to myself and his dad for help, especially when it comes to money 💰
6. Talk to them about not interrupting you when you’re having a conversation with others beforehand, and the reason why it’s not acceptable. (this is really a tricky one, but the best thing you can do is maybe give them a hand signal ✋that says give me five minutes, and make sure you stick to it!). If after five minutes you still haven’t finished your conversation with the other person, you need to tell the other person to hold on and ask your child for more minute and explain why in a calm voice
7. Shopping with them; plan ahead before you go shopping. Ask them to help you write the shopping list, have them help you get things off the shelf, put things in the basket. Telling children about what to expect from any situation helps.

My final thoughts: 

My final thought 

Dear parents, the honest truth is that there is no proven technique to inspire good behaviour in kids, the most important thing is to lead by example. 

Let your child see how you care for people around you, hear the kind words you use, and see you doing your duty regardless of being told. These acts will be enough to encourage empathetic behaviour in your child. 

🎯MODEL THE BEHAVIOUR YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE 

Please leave a comment below to share more tips on how and what to teach children about how to behave in public 👇👇👇

Thanks 

Olu