HOW TO STOP YOUR CHILD FROM LYING

Children who lie are often considered antisocial and lacking in morals, and parents can wonder what they did wrong to raise a dishonest child. 

Please Remember this 👉 LYING IS A BEHAVIOURAL ISSUE NOT A MORAL ISSUE!

For most kids, Lying is the beginning of imagination, but when it persists or when it has negative patterns it really does get in the way.

I’ve had kids come to me at school and  tell me they 

Came to school in a limousine 😀 ( I know it’s just a make believe stories in their head, that’s can’t be considered a lie) 

It’s not uncommon for children of all ages to tell lies at some point in their lives.

Children ages 3, 4  and even five years old will  see make-believe stories and want to tell tall tales sometimes it’s simply just entertaining and fun for them. 

As children start to grow older adolescent age they start to tell lies that are more than likely self-serving often to get out of trouble.

Children do also start to have a bit of confusion between a lie that get them out of trouble versus a lie that is to protect someone’s feelings

One of the things we have to remember as parents is that if children are lying very frequently and very consistently that there may be a bigger problem that needs to be considered. 

Also, Children that are lying in addition to having other behavioural difficulties may need some help. 

At some point, parents may need to sit down and help their children understand the importance of telling the truth. And there need to be some consequences involved in helping to steer children in the direction of the truth.

WHY CHILDREN LIE

🍀Because they love you 

🍀They have been trained to lie for fear of punishment 🍀They don’t trust you with their truth 

🍀Because they feel bad about the truth

🍀Peer pressure 

🍀To get out of trouble 

🍀To gain some kind of attention 

🍀To avoid what’s been asked of them 

🍀Habits- sometimes kids just lie for no good reason because it has become an habits. 

(I will elaborate more on this 👆in my subsequent post,) 

HOW DO YOU ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO BE HONEST? 

Dear parents, please don’t make your child scared of telling you the truth and don’t encourage them to lie. 

Let your children know that there is nothing in this world that they cannot tell you and that you will be there for them no matter what. 

Listen to them, don’t blame and don’t punish them, stay calm and think about how you can support them.

Always think about the “Why” 

Ask yourself why they are lying to you?  Is it because you’re scared of your reaction if they tell you the truth?  Are they afraid of upsetting you? 

 Then consider how they are feeling. In most cases they will not be feeling good if they have done something wrong, they are likely to feel anxious, scared, guilty and worried. 

Lastly think about what you want to achieve in terms of discipline. If you want them to tell you the truth in the future you must work on your response to them, you must stay calm and help to guide them to a better response or better choice in the future. 

MY FINAL THOUGHTS 

Role model Honest –  role model the behaviour you want to see in your children 

If you tell your child to tell someone you’re not home, because you don’t want to talk to that person, then what have you just done! ( I’m also guilty of this one).

Also, Let’s try to always keep our promise. 

Although this post has given you some tips on how to handle and decrease lying.  I think it’s important to understand that we all, every single one of us, lie. Lying as we’ve seen, is not always negative- sometimes, the motivation is unselfish 

IN CONCLUSION 

All kids will lie occasionally but it’s important to deal with dishonesty immediately so that it doesn’t become habitual. Once your child knows you expect the truth (and you consistently back up this expectation with consequences), you’ll likely see much more honesty in your home.

It’s likely your child will continue to lie at times, but your main goal here is to encourage a relationship with them in which they always feel safe enough to tell you their truth. 

This may not be what you want to hear but no matter what they tell you you must respond from a position of calmness, respect and support. 

Ultimately, our real goal as parent is to raise children who feel able to tell us anything and always come to us for help

Be intentional 

Happy parenting 

Olu 

#Positivparentingwitholu