CONSEQUENCES; Should I Give Them To My Child When He Gets In Trouble At School
To be honest, every parent whose child acts out in class get sick of hearing from the school, even if they know their child is legitimately a problem. Parents don’t want to go to work and hear about their kids during the school day: They want the school to handle it. And the school thinks parents should be more involved in dealing with appropriate behavior. So when should parents get involved? I think the answer to that is straight forward. In my opinion, it depends on whether the problem is “functional” or “relational” A functional problem includes being late for class, running around the school. I personally do not think parents should give more consequences at home for those types of things.
But the whole game changes when it comes to relational problems. These are problems that have to do with inappropriate behavior towards people or property. If your child steals, if he is physically abusive, if he is threatening, if he gets into fight, parents need to hold him accountable and give consequences at home in addition to the consequences the school assign.
Again, one of the thing parents have to avoid is insulating their child from the natural consequences of their behavior. If your child destroys property or assaults someone at school and you do everything you can to protect him so he doesn’t have to face legal consequences, I think you’re making a mistake. I think you can support your child through those consequences. I would. But the more you insulate him from the natural consequences of his actions, the less likely those actions are going to change. Because let’s face it, people don’t change until there’s pressure to change.
And unfortunately, that pressure often comes from negative consequences, whether thats’s for a speeding ticket or for being physically aggressive in school. We understand that fact as adults in society: people get tickets all the time for running lights and for speeding. You may not like getting a ticket, you may not think its fair. But the bottom line is that it makes you look at your behavior and change it. When a child gets in serious trouble at school, many parents become worried that it will go on their permanent record. Is that a legitimate worry for a parent? Yes, but you don’t soothe those worries by sweeping the problem under the rug.
Let me be clear; if your child assaults someone at school and doesn’t get a record now – that’s all there is to it.
Thanks for your time, this post is a continuation of the above topic, please check out my previous post on the same topic, if you want to read more.
See you soon……
Positive Parenting With Olu 